


Blessings and Scars

by a_bit_of_foolish_hope



Series: Many Faces of Me [2]
Category: Good Mythical Morning, Rhett & Link
Genre: Dissociative Identity Disorder, Gen, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Non-graphic trauma flash backs, Unsupportive family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2018-11-19 20:27:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11321100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_bit_of_foolish_hope/pseuds/a_bit_of_foolish_hope
Summary: Link is finally getting a grasp on his new life with dissociative identity disorder. With the help of Christy and Rhett, he has finally regained the sense of security that he had lost. All of that will be challenged when Link, Rhett, Christy, and the kids travel to North Carolina for the Forth of July weekend. On this trip, Link will discover new alters, new memories, and a new understanding of what family really means.





	1. His Family's Understanding

**Author's Note:**

> _"That's it, it's split, it won't recover_  
>  _Just frame the halves and call them brothers_  
>  _Find your fathers and your mothers_  
>  _If you remember who they are"_  
>  \--Regina Spektor, Call Them Brothers

Charles Lincoln Neal III was six feet tall, thirty nine years old, and one of six separate personalities that inhabited his body. The youngest of these personalities, Charlie, was six years old, had curly blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and loved dinosaurs. Susan, a feisty, freckle faced nineteen year old was the type of girl danced to songs in her head and weaved flowers into her dark red hair. Larnold was a tall, broad shouldered outdoorsman man with a bald head and a thick beard he had recently decided to add to his appearance. Seaborne, the oldest existing personality besides Link, loved his handlebar mustache and hated questions. The chocolate brown Labrador named Mister was, well, chocolate brown Labrador. This is how they appeared to Link, anyway. To everyone else, they were all just different voices and mannerisms behind the single, shared mask of the body they inhabited.

Currently, this body was sitting behind a desk in front of cameras next to Link’s lifelong friend Rhett.

“Alright, Link, last question,” Rhett said in his stage announcer voice. “You’ve gotten every one right so far, so let’s bring this home with a perfect score. The dinosaur named the Sauropod was so big that it required multiple stomach chambers that fermented it’s food and caused it to constantly what? A, fart. B, poop. C, sleep. D, make the best home brew in Jurassic Park.”

Link slapped his hand excitedly on the table.

“A!” he exclaimed. “Final answer!”

“You’re right Link!" Rhett raised both of his hands for a double high five which Link reciprocated enthusiastically. It wasn’t often that Link won these trivia games so easily. When he settled back into his seat, Rhett heard link Link giggle in a way that was not quite like his normal satisfied chuckle. Rhett raised a eyebrow but continued on with a smile as if he had noticed nothing. Although he knew about Link’s diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder, both men had agreed that keeping the information from their employees was for the best. They trusted every person they hired, of course, but Link was self conscious enough with his closest circle of loved ones being in the know. There was no reason to push the limits of his comfort at work.

With the filming for the day finished, the crew emerged from behind the cameras and monitors and joined Rhett and Link on the stage to exchange laughs about what they had just filmed. The jubilation went on for an hour or so before the conversation slowly started to lose steam. One by one, the group began to dissipate, crew members either heading home or disappearing into offices to do final cuts and edits on the day’s work. When everyone had left, Rhett crossed his arms and gave Link a cheeky grin.

“You cheated,” he stated.

“I didn’t cheat,” Link said defensively. “I won fair and square.”

“No,” Rhett said, still smiling, “Charlie won fair and square. Don’t pretend that he wasn’t co-fronting with you, feeding you answers.”

“Well…maybe he whispered a few things that I happened to overhear,” Link admitted. “It’s not my fault he discovered the fact filled wonders of YouTube.”

“I demand a reshoot,” Rhett said, puffing out his chest in mock indignation.

“But I already know all the answers," Link said. “Even if I didn’t have Charlie, we just went over all the questions. I would still win.”

“Hmm…” Rhett pretended to muse over Link’s point. “I suppose. I’m still not counting this as a win, though.”

“You can count it as whatever you want. Our followers saw me get a perfect score. They outnumber you. I’m a winner and everyone knows it.”

Rhett laughed and shook his head.

“Alright brother, let’s get out of here. Jess is making BLT’s for lunch and I am not going to be late for that.”

Rhett turned to walk away before Link’s hand shot out, lacing his fingers together with Rhett’s. A sharp tug brought Rhett spinning back inches away from his friend.

“You can be a little late, can’t you?” Link said slyly at a pitch slightly higher than his normal voice. He walked the finger of his free hand up Rhett’s peck muscles and lightly bounced his pointer finger off of Rhett’s lips.

“Susan,” Rhett said flatly, immediately identifying the changed identity. “You signed a contract saying you wouldn’t try anything with me.”

Susan pouted her bottom lip out and stepped closer to Rhett. “But you’re so nice all the time. And strong. And handsome. I’m always cleaning up after the other alters. I never get to have any fun.” She stroked Rhett’s bearded cheek before he grabbed her wrist firmly and pulled it away. Knowing she wasn't going to get anything out of him, Susan stepped back and huffed. “Fine,” she said, “but I’m riding home with you. I get your company at the very least.”

Rhett sighed. “Fine. But if you try to hold my hand in the car you’re walking.” He held up his left hand and waggled his fingers in front of her face. “Link’s not the only married one.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

At the Neal household Christy was busy putting lunch together for the family. When she heard Link walk in she greeted him without looking up from her work.

“How was filming, honey?”

“It was fine,” Susan sighed and leaned on the island in the middle of the kitchen, resting her head in her hands. Christy glanced up in response to the exasperated reply and then went back to cutting the sandwiches in front of her into triangles.

“Hi, Susan,” Christy said, her attempt to sound casual failing in the most fantastic fashion.

“Still not cool with me?” Susan asked.

“Still hitting on Rhett?” Christy replied. Susan rolled her eyes and lolled her head back dramatically.

“I signed the stupid contract. I haven’t broken it. You can’t blame me for having a crush, though.”

“Well, actually, I can.” Christy moved the sandwiches to plates and placed a handful of baby carrots by each one.

“Come on,” Susan pleaded. “It’s just a crush. I’m not going to do anything. Charlie gets his dinosaur stuff. Seaborne gets to cruise around and test drive old cars. Larnold gets his monthly overnights at the San Gabriel Mountains. What do I get? Link won’t let me pierce his ears or wear anything even remotely feminine. I’m like a mom who takes care of everyone and gets no thanks.”

“Well, that last bit I can relate to,” Christy said, carrying the plates two at a time to the kitchen table in the adjoining room. “But for my own sanity, stop flirting with him. I already went years thinking I was just Link’s beard and he would eventually run away into the sunset with Rhett. I don’t need you stoking those insecurities.”

“Can I get a tattoo at least?”

“That’s a question you have to take up with Link, not me.”

“God you’re so boring.” Susan stood and hopped up on the island, swinging her legs back and forth over the side.

“Off the counter,” Christy said automatically. It was something she had to say annoyingly frequently as of late. Susan slid off the island and walked to the sink.

“I’ll get Link,” she said, filling a cup with water. She drank it quickly and by the time the glass was empty, Link was back in control of his body.

“I’m me again,” he said with a shade of embarrassment. No matter how many times he uttered that phrase it always felt awkward. He was used to the alters but he didn’t know if he would ever be used to the introductions and announcements he had to make about his presence. He wished he could just change clothes like the people on tv shows and in the movies. It would be so much easier that way.

“Welcome back, handsome,” Christy said, coming into the kitchen to retrieve the last plate. “I can finally give you a hello kiss.” She gave Link a lingering peck and nodded toward the table. “Join us for lunch?”

“Definitely,” Link said. “I’m starving.”

As Link sat down, Christy summoned the children from the living room. Fourteen year old Lily, eleven year old Lincoln, and seven year old Lando begrudgingly separated themselves from the tv and sat down for a family meal. As they ate, Lando went on about a new show he wanted to start watching with Charlie. Link smiled at the excitement Lando still had about his youngest alter but Christy seemed less than thrilled about the conversation topic. She had been working to the best of her ability to be a supportive wife, but things were still difficult for her to fully accept. She understood the alters and their purpose but she couldn’t get past seeing different eyes on her husband’s face. Every alter had their own mannerisms and voice, but it was the foreign look in the eyes that Christy found the most unnerving. She never vocalized her discomfort but it was still strongly present. One day, she hoped, she would get used to it. For now, she was glad at least that the kids were having an easier time adjusting than she was.

“Hey, mom?” Lily said when Lando’s rambling about the tv show finally fizzled out. “Is it cool if I go out with some friends this weekend?”

“Is one of those friends named Jonas?” Christy asked with a grin. Lily flushed and tore off a corner of her sandwich self consciously.

“And other people,” she said, stuffing the food into her mouth to avoid answering any follow up questions her mother might have.

“I think that’d be just fine,” Christy said. She looked up at Link for confirmation.

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Link nodded. “Just don’t smooch too much. Your lips will get sore.”

“God, dad! Gross!” Lily’s face was tomato red as she wolfed down the rest of her food to the ambient sound of giggling brothers.

“Can I please be excused?” Lincoln asked when his plate was empty.

“Certainly. Don’t forget to rinse your plate before you put it in the sink.” Christy replied.

“Me, too?" asked Lando. Christy nodded. Lily stood without a word and followed her brothers to the sink, still blushing. Once the kids had dispersed, Christy cocked a grin at her husband.

“You don't have to embarrass her that much,” she said. “This is her first crush. Cut her some slack.” She poked the ticklish place on Link’s side and he jerked away with a sharp laugh.

“I’ve waited fourteen years for this,” he defended. “It’s all bottled up and ready to explode. This is my job as a father.”

“No teasing her in front of the boy at least,” Christy instructed.

“I can’t even sit at the door with a shotgun?”

“We don’t own a shotgun.”

“I can buy a shotgun.”

“Link…”

Link grinned, quite satisfied with his own humor, and popped a baby carrot in his mouth. Christy chuckled and shook her head.

“You are such a little shit.” She paused as Link finished the last bites of his meal before continuing onto a new topic. “Hey, hun? I have something I’d like to talk to you about.” The serious change in her tone brought a look of concern to Link’s face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Christy explained. “The kids just had a question and I wasn’t sure how to answer.”

“We already told them about the birds and the bees. What question could be harder than that?” Link joked, trying to lighten the mood. A half smile broke through Christy’s stoic expression and she turned in her chair to face him head on.

“The kids want to go visit your folks for the Fourth of July,” she explained. Link’s face dropped.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Christy fidgeted with her wedding ring. “I told them I wanted to talk to you first. I know you’ve been doing a lot better lately. Only seeing Mary once a week. None of the alters are sneaking around or fronting without you knowing.”

“Larnold was not impressed with that teddy cam you set up, by the way.”

“Well I had to make sure nothing else valuable was going to go missing,” Christy said matter of factly. “It’s not that I didn’t trust his intentions. It was more of a safety precaution.”

“Uh-huh,” Link smirked.

“Anyway,” Christy said, directing the conversation back on track, “I didn’t know how you felt about spending time with your family again. Obviously Corey will have nothing to do with anyone. If he tries to visit I’ll probably murder the son of a bitch—”

“While I love the sentiment I’d like to keep my wife out of jail,” Link interrupted.

“Regardless. He goes nowhere near our babies. And I know things are rocky between you and your mom still. I was thinking maybe we could stay at your dad’s place. We might not be able to avoid Sue completely, but knowing we at least get evenings away might make it easier to handle.”

Link pondered, idly scratching at the rim of his plate. North Carolina was still a daunting destination for him. In the almost seven months since his first repressed memory surfaced, the alters had shown him a few more bits and pieces of his childhood that they’d been hiding. Some memories were more traumatic than others, but almost every single one involved a different person. He didn’t recognize all of the faces he was shown, but some were heartbreakingly familiar. He didn’t want to believe that all of these memories were true. How was it possible for so many bad people to access him in his childhood? Some of it had to be made up, but his therapist Mary told him to trust his alters. _They have no reason to lie to you_ she would insist. Link had no choice but to follow her advice. She was a specialist. She knew better than he how this whole thing worked.

Still, the more he learned, the less willing he was to trust anyone from his past. Monsters could be lurking anywhere. He didn’t want to find any of them by surprise.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that,” Link said slowly. Christy nodded and put her hand on his, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“Then we’ll stay in California. I want you to feel safe. I will never ever ask you to jeopardize your security. I promise.”

Link smiled at his wife.

“What about the kids?” he asked. “They’ll be disappointed. Dad ruins another holiday…”

“Don’t, baby. Don’t worry like that. No one blames you for protecting yourself, not even the kids. They’ll understand. If they throw a fit and don’t stop pushing, I’ll just take them there on my own. You can stay here with Rhett and Jess. But only if you’re ok with that.”

“Whatever you think is best,” Link replied, and kissed Christy’s forehead softly. “I trust you.”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you, too."


	2. His Friend's Discernment

Link heard nothing negative from his children in the days that followed his conversation with Christy. He was put at ease by their understanding but he still couldn’t fight the feeling that he was standing in the way of the kids’ relationship with their grandparents. When his own parents divorced it had been devastating for him, but it could have been much worse. Despite whatever happened between them, neither his mother nor his father ever said anything demeaning about the other in front of Link. They didn’t try to jeopardize his time or his affection either; there was simply an understanding that any trouble was only between the adults. It was an admirable respect that Link hadn’t fully realized until early adulthood. As a child he was able to recognize that things were messy, but that was kept behind closed doors where it couldn’t taint his view of his family. Eventually Charles and Sue were able to come out the other side at enough peace to occasionally spend holidays together, but it had been a long journey to get to that point. If they, despite all their pain and turmoil, ensured Link had the chance to stay close to both of them, Link knew he had to offer the same chance to his own children. There was no reason to drag them into his own family trouble.

Still the question remained, would it be better to stay behind or would his absence only bring uncomfortable judgments and questions upon his family? Unable to solve this riddle on his own, Link decided to get advice from the wisest person he knew.

“I don’t know, buddy” Rhett said with a shrug. “It’s not really my place to say.”

Link grimaced and tsk’ed his tongue at Rhett’s unhelpful response.

“Rhett,” he insisted, “I wouldn’t be asking you if it wasn’t your place to say. I’m having a really hard time making a decision here.”

They were sitting on lawn chairs in Rhett’s back yard. The summer heat was suffocating but iced teas and the shade of a patio umbrella helped lessen its torment. Rhett’s sunglasses prevented Link from reading his emotions very well, but it didn’t matter. The amount of consideration Rhett was giving each response said enough.

“You think I should stay?” Link asked. It was more of a statement than a question.

“Listen,” Rhett sighed. “I don’t want anything to do with your family anymore. Nothing. And you know how much they meant to me growing up.”

Link nodded.

“So if it were me I’d say hell no and be done with it,” Rhett went on. “But this isn’t me and I’m not related to them by blood. I can’t tell you whether to cut ties with your family or not.”

“I’m not asking if I should cut ties. I’m asking if I should stay home on the Fourth.”

Rhett turned his head to face Link and took off his sunglasses.

“You don’t think that’s going to make a statement?” Rhett asked. “You skip Christmas and then send your family to visit without you in the summer? Whether you go or not, you’re going to be sending a big message. They’re going to read into what ever you choose here, buddy.”

"I hadn’t thought of that,” Link admitted. “My head was more in the place of ‘can I handle this?’”

“Can you?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Alright,” Rhett sighed. “If you really want my opinion I think you should stay. I think that if Charles and Sue want to make amends that’s up to them. You don’t owe them anything. Plus, you shouldn’t put yourself at risk of flashbacks like that. You’re still learning about what happened to you.”

“That’s kinda where my thoughts were on this, too,” Link said softly. “This is stupid.”

“It is,” Rhett agreed. “It’s stupid that you should have to be in this position at all. But it’s not your fault. You know that, right?”

“Even if I didn’t, everyone keeps telling me that so it must be true,” Link said. “I just want my kids to have the chance to be a part of the family I thought I had. I don’t necessarily blame mom and dad for what happened to me, but I don’t know if I can face them yet. I know the kids will be safe, though. Christy would straight up slaughter anyone who tried to touch her babies.”

“It’s nice having a Mama Bear on your team,” Rhett chuckled.

“It definitely is.”

Link paused for a long moment. Rhett watched him thoughtfully, waiting for whatever thoughts were bubbling in his mind to reach the surface.

“They had to have known something was wrong, didn’t they?” Link said finally. “Good parents watch. Good parents catch these kinds of things.”

“I know without a doubt that your folks loved you, Link,” Rhett said. “I grew up with you. I saw it in action. Maybe this was something they just couldn’t see. Your cousin Corey did what he did when he was out of town with you where no one would find out."

“But aren’t there are signs they should have seen?” Link asked. “And I mean, it wasn’t just Corey. I’ve been getting glimpses. Hints. There was a neighbor friend whose mom would buy us clothes and watch us undress. I have flashes of being held against the wall by my throat by a person I don’t recognize. I was flipping through a family album the other day and the sight of certain faces made me feel sick. Physically sick. If all these memories are real, if it was happening that much with that many different people, how did they not know?”

“Maybe they didn’t want to,” Rhett replied, laying the words as gently as he could. There wasn’t much comfort to be offered in these conversations. It was hard for Rhett to feel so powerless to help his friend, but still he did what he could. He watched as Link’s expression faded from confusion to sadness to anger and back again.

“That’s not ok,” he said after a long, heavy silence.

“No,” Rhett replied. “It’s not.”

“They should have known. They should have protected me.”

“Yes.”

“How were there so many terrible people in my life anyway? How come every time I get a new memory it’s a new person? That doesn’t happen in real life. That’s for ridiculous dramas and overblown Lifetime films. That doesn’t happen in real life. It doesn’t.”

Link’s hands were shaking. There were no tears in his eyes or quaking in his voice. He’d learned to hold himself together quite well over the past months. It was only his hands that ever gave him away. To hide their shakiness, Link began to scratch at his arm. As soon as he did, Rhett’s reached out and pulled his hand down.

“What did we say about scratching?” he asked sternly. Link yanked his hand out of Rhett’s.

“I know you read that compulsive itching was a warning sign for self harm but I’m not going to do that to myself. I have a bug bite.”

“Mm-hmm,” Rhett nodded, unconvinced. Link glowered.

“I just don’t like it when my hands shake. Happy?”

“I’m happy that you’re giving me an honest answer,” Rhett replied. “Listen, I know this is a crappy place to be stuck in but you’re not in this alone. While Christy and the kids visit your folks you can stay at my place in the guest bedroom. I know Barbara will love having Jade around to play with.”

A hint of a grin teased at the corner of Link’s mouth as he thought of the two small dogs chasing each other about. Being here would certainly be better than staying in his empty home. He probably would have invited himself if Rhett didn’t do it first.

Plus, Link hated cooking for himself.

“Jessie’s going to be ok, though?” Link asked. “You know, if I switch on accident while I’m here?”

Rhett grinned at this question and stood. He hopped to the patio door, cracked it open, and called inside.

“Hey, babe?” Rhett yelled. “Make an extra plate. Seaborne is staying for dinner.”

“Don’t just say that!” Link hissed in a stage whisper. He tensed as he awaited the reply.

“Alright,” Link heard Jess shout back. No witty remark. No joke. No reluctance. Just ‘alright’. Link fell back in his chair with surprise.

“How are you two more chill about this than me and Christy?” Link asked, astonished.

“We’re the better couple apparently.”

“You know…” Link winked, his body language changing in a snap as he twirled one finger in his thick black hair. “ _We_ could be the best couple if we wanted to.”

“Are you kidding me?” Rhett asked, closing the patio door. The two held a loaded stare until Link burst into laugher.

“I’m sorry,” he gasped, “It’s just so funny how uncomfortable it makes you. I had to take the joke. Susan’s inside and quiet. I was just messin’.”

“Har har,” Rhett grumbled, taking his seat next to Link. He was smiling despite his attempt to sound sour. “I suppose I deserve that.”

“I am staying for dinner now, though. You offered. Too late to take it back.”

“I didn’t invite _you_ ,” Rhett teased.

“Same body. Same belly. Plus, Jess cooks better than Christy does.” Link’s face suddenly became serious. “Don’t tell either of them I said that.”

“No promises, brother,” Rhett winked.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Later that night, Link crawled into bed next to Christy. She was reading a novel by the light of her bedside lamp. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a neat braid and the covers were tucked squarely around her. Link always said she looked like a little doll when she sat in bed like that. It never grew less adorable.

Christy was absorbed in her book when Link scooted into place beside her. With a smirk, he pulled the comforter up to his shoulders and reached out under the blankets with his feet until they found their target. Christy jumped and gave a small shriek as Link’s ice cold toes brushed against her leg. A childish giggle burst from Link as Christy gave him a playful whack on the arm with her book.

“That is the kind of behavior that makes couples sleep in separate beds,” Christy said, shuffling back into a comfortable position.

“I thought that was mostly because of CPAP machines.”

“Hmm, that probably plays a big role too,” Christy agreed. “Never develop sleep apnea.”

“As I have complete control over that, I’ll make sure I never do.”

The two laughed and Christy set her book down on her stomach.

“So how was your talk with Rhett?” she asked. “Any epiphanies?”

“Yeah,” Link said. “I think you and the kids should go to North Carolina without me. I don’t want to get in the way of family, but I think it’s best if I’m not there.”

“I understand, sweetie,” Christy said, placing her hand over Link’s. “Are you sure you don’t want us to just stay here, though?”

“I’m sure.”

“Your folks will ask questions.”

“Just be honest with them,” Link said with a shrug. “Tell them that things are weird right now. Tell them I need time to work through stuff. Mom might be huffy about it but dad will understand.”

“Your mom is a mother hen if ever there was one,” Christy chuckled. “Everything has to be just right and all in a row with her.”

“Trust me,” Link rolled his eyes. “I know. That’s probably half the reason I’m not going.”

“I’ll buy the plane tickets tomorrow afternoon,” Christy said. “If you change your mind about anything before then, let me know right away, ok?”

“Ok.”

“Promise?” Christy asked, pushing harder. It wasn’t uncommon lately for Link to hide his discomfort for fear of being an annoyance.

“Promise,” Link assured her. “I don’t see it happening, but I promise.”

“Ok. I love you, baby.” Christy rolled up onto one elbow to give Link a quick kiss before falling back and clicking off her lamp. “Have sweet dreams.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Link drifted off fairly quickly. He was infamous for his ability to fall asleep at the drop of a hat. As his eyes flutter shut, Link found himself in a room that looked very much like the rec room of his old college dorm. The location was familiar in that way, but the feeling of the place was off somehow. Link couldn’t quite place it, but the stillness made the room feel more like a church than a common area of a male dormitory. Link wandered through the open hall slowly, taking in all the details that his subconscious mind had taken the time to scatter about. There was a bulletin board with announcements written in letters he couldn’t read. He had a sense that none of them would have said anything interesting anyway. There were pristine couches and expensive looking plush chairs placed strategically around the large, open area along with vintage arcade games and a pool table. Link ran his hand along the row of cue sticks hanging on the wall. None of them had a single scratch and their tips were not yet stained with chalk. Everything was so shiny and new. That wasn’t what made the environment so odd, though. The eeriness came from…

Emptiness.

The entire area was empty except for him. If it wasn’t for the bulletin board he would say there was no sign of life at all.

So when a pair of voices came from behind him he nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Hello, Link,” said two women in unison. Link leaped around, his shoulder smashing into the cue stick display. There was a twinge of pain that dissipated instantly. None of the sticks had moved from their place.

“Who are you?” Link asked. Two women sat side by side on a black couch against the wall opposite him. They were both smiling like they had been expecting him for a while now.

“Our names aren’t important. We’re whoever you need us to be,” said the woman on the left. “We came to let you know that everything is going to be ok if you go home. We’ll protect you.”


	3. His Dream's Reveal

Link blinked as he tried to focus his vision on the women who had appeared before him. He squinted and rubbed his eyes but no matter what he tried, he couldn’t manage to see clearly. The dreamscape was becoming blurry. Additionally, the faces of the two women across the room flickered and changed so that their appearance was impossible to pin down. Strange and yet somehow familiar, their features oscillated rapidly. One second one of the women had a broad nose and red hair, the next she was blonde with a pointed chin. It took a while for Link to realize it, but every face they bore was familiar to him. Some where movie stars, others were tv characters, and occasionally they would take the appearance of a childhood friend or teacher. Despite the bizarreness of it all, the women’s presence was warm and welcoming.

The two scattered beings stood and began to walk toward Link who tried to step back in surprise but was stopped by the wall behind him. When they reached him, each women took one of Link’s hands in their own and began guiding him toward the couch from which they had come. As soon as their fingers laced in his, however, the rec room vanished and they were suddenly outside and walking hand in hand down an empty street. The sun was bright and warmed the air around the three wanderers to the perfect temperature. Birds and cicadas chirped from somewhere in the distance and, even though Link couldn’t see any houses nearby, the peaceful tinkling of wind chimes filled the air.

“Where are we going?” Link asked, allowing himself to be soothed by the summer ambiance.

“Somewhere happy,” explained the taller of the two women. The shorter one on his others side smiled, but said nothing.

A few moments later, Link was standing in a sand pit outside an elementary school. He was still an adult but the jungle gym, swings, and monkey bars around him were all sized to accommodate him as he had once experienced them as a child. With a grin as wide as he had ever worn, Link rushed toward the monkey bars and grabbed them in a flying leap. He used the momentum to swing his legs up on the bar in front of him and contorted his body to fit through the gap so that he was sitting on top of oversized playground equipment.

“I used to do this all the time with Rhett when we were in grade school,” Link spoke aloud. The women were instantly sitting on either side of him, their legs swinging freely in the air as they balanced their hands and bodies carefully on the monkey bars. “We used to think we were so cool when we could swing up here in one motion. We were the money bar kings. The best kids in the playground.”

“You felt tall here. Powerful,” said the woman on his left, the same who had spoken before. “No one could touch you when you were so far above the world.”

“Yeah,” Link said, letting memories wash over him. “I could look down and see everyone. Everything. I was special here.”

“Do you feel special now?” asked the woman.

“I do,” Link said, turning his face up to the sky and closing his eyes. The sun warmed his cheeks while a light breeze cooled them down again. It was a lovely sensation.

“Good,” both women chimed in unison. They each took one of Link’s hands again. There was no travel this time, though. Instead, the three sat in silence and enjoyed the calmness of the day. For a long while they stayed like that, feeling the breeze and listening to the chimes. Eventually, Link opened his eyes again.

“Who are you?” he asked. His voice was light and dreamy.

“We are whoever you want us to be,” the taller woman repeated her answer from before.

“What if I want you to be Christy?” Link asked her.

“Then I would be Christy. But you don’t want that, so I’m not.” She kissed Link’s forehead softly and ran her fingers through his hair. It was a tender, caring touch, pure of any ulterior motive. Like a child with a caretaker, Link leaned his head on her shoulder.

“What if I wanted you to be Wonder Woman?”

Before his sentence was complete, Link was standing on the top of a skyscraper looking down on a bustling city. Wonder Woman was on his left. Batgirl stood on his right.

“Tall, powerful, and holding hands with superheroes,” Link chuckled. “Now I really am special.”

“You’re always special,” Wonder Woman smiled. She placed her hand on Link’s chest. He looked down at her fingers to see they were caressing a Bat logo that had appeared on his chest.

“I’m…I’m Batman?” Link asked.

“You are whoever you want to be. And we are whoever you want us to be,” said the tall woman. “Never forget your strength, Link Neal. Never forget that you stand taller than all the troubles down in that city. You don’t need to sit on the monkey bars to be a king. You already are one.”

Wonder Woman placed her hand gently on Link’s strong jaw line and guided his face to look at hers. Link stood still in awe as she closed her eyes and leaned in close. He could feel her breath, smell her sweetness. Just before her lips met his, his body was jolted awake to the sound of his phone alarm.

Dazed and not quite reconnected with reality, Link furrowed his brow and looked around the room. Slowly he recognized the dresser, the windows, the bathroom door, and the woman who stirred in bed next to him. Christy. It was Christy. Somehow Link had forgotten who she was for a moment.

Link reached for his phone and silenced the alarm. Then, with weary legs, he made his way downstairs to brew coffee and start his day. Although he still felt heavy from sleep, his spirit was miles high. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this genuinely confident and appreciated. What a wonderful dream…

Link popped a pod in the Kurig on the kitchen counter and grabbed the creamer from the fridge while the machine filled his cup. He could still feel the touch of dream women’s hands lingering on his. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the rush of pure, loving energy that still hummed in his mind.

_You are a king._

The phrase repeated over and over in his mind. He sat and sipped his coffee slowly, taking advantage of the quiet to bask in his own pleasant wonderland in the before the bustle of his family’s morning routines tore him from his illusion and brought him back down into reality.

“Well aren’t you all bright and smily this morning?” Christy said as she meandered into the kitchen and began making toast. "I take it you slept well. Sweet dreams?”

“Very sweet,” Link hummed.

“Good,” Christy smiled. “You deserve some good dreams and a peaceful morning. You went to bed with a lot on your shoulders.”

“I did?”

“Yeah, about your family. You don’t remember?”

“Sorry,” Link said. “I remember now. I must still be waking up.”

“Those must have been some good dreams to make you forget all that drama. I hope I was in them.”

“What dream could be sweeter than one with you?” Link said, avoiding the question. As silly as it was, Link always felt guilty about dreams that involved women other than his wife. “Speaking of last night, I’ve changed my mind. I’ve decided I'm coming to North Carolina with you.”

Christy stopped buttering her toast mid stroke and turned to look at her husband.

“You have?” she asked.

“Yeah. Something tells me it will be ok. I can’t hide forever, and I want to be with you and the kids for the holiday.”

“Alright,” Christy said, taking a seat next to Link and picking at her toast. “Five tickets it is. I won’t lie, I’m glad you’ll be there with us. You’re sort of my sunshine. Celebrations just aren’t as fun without you.”

Link leaned sideways, giving his wife a loving bump with his shoulder.

“Imma go shower,” he said. “Are you good to make the kids breakfast?”

“I’m the unappreciated mom,” Christy grinned, swallowing a bite of her breakfast. “Of course I’ll make breakfast.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Christy chuckled. “Ask Susan.”

Link smiled and shook his head before returning upstairs to the master bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror, feeling proud of the handsome face that looked back. Still riding his emotional high, he imagined the feeling of arms embracing him from behind and closed his eyes to enjoy the sensation. Once his eyes were shut, he was surprised by the glimmer of a face that twinkled for a moment in his mind. Not the memory of one, but a face that was present and real.

“Wonder Woman?” he asked incredulously, allowing his mind to seek inside to find the answer to his ridiculous question. He pictured the ranch house he had created in his mind to shelter all of his alters. It was a cozy place surrounded by a thick forest and built with sturdy wood and stone. Inside was a fireplace that was always burning and a kitchen that always smelled like warm bread. There was a staircase that led to the upstairs level where the alter’s rooms were, but Link had never ventured that far in. He had a feeling that location of the home was off limits to him, at least for now. Around the fireplace were high backed, leather chairs, one for each alter and himself. This is where they met, where they discussed issues and stayed connected with one another. Constant communication was essential, Link had learned. It was how he was able to slowly dissolve the walls that separated each personality and keep everyone working in cooperation with one another. Charlie, Susan, Larnold, Seaborne, and Link each had a chair with a wool blanket of their own. Mister had a rug in front of the hearth. As Link inspected the meeting place, he noticed were two new chairs in the circle. No, not chairs. A love seat. It felt a clear declaration that the two alters functioned as one.

“Who are you?” Link thought, knowing the alters could hear him. This was a tired question by now, but he pursued it none the less.

“S,” came the reply.

The letter was spoken clearly. Link could sense the presence of someone in his mind but the name and face remained unclear. With almost nothing to go on, he began to guess.

“Sophie?” he asked. There was an empty, negative feeling as a response. “Sabrina?” Again, a no. “Sam?” This time he was met with a warm encouragement. It wasn’t quite a yes, he sensed, but he was getting closer. “Samantha?”

“S and S,” was the response. Two names. He needed two names. Link concentrated harder, seeking any sense of who he was communicating with.

“Samantha and…and Sarah?”

“Hello, Link.”

Two figures appeared side by side on the love seat that faced the fireplace. From where Link stood he could only see the backs of their heads.

“You were in my dream,” Link stated.

“It’s easiest to talk to you there,” said Samantha the taller of the two women. Neither she nor Sarah turned around. Instead, the kept their heads forward, sitting up straight and perfectly still.

“How long have you been here?” Link asked.

“For longer than you think,” said the Samantha. It seemed that she was the designated speaker for the pair. “And we’ve been in your dreams before.”

Link was suddenly jolted by memories. Dreams of adventure and heroism, always with two women by his side. They wore different faces each time, but the theme of each dream was always the same. His female sidekicks acted with strength and independence and encouraged him to do the same. Together they solved mysteries, arrested criminals, and saved the day with gusto. Those had always been his favorite dreams. He woke from each one with renewed vigor and self confidence.

“Why only in my dreams?” Link asked. “Why haven’t you been here in the house with the others?” Link stayed where he was, looking at the back of the women’s heads, worried that if he came too close they would disappear.

“We’re not like the others,” Samantha explained. “Sarah and I aren’t meant to run the body. We stay here and encourage you from inside. We are the light when you need us the most.”

"Why show yourselves now?” Link asked.

“Because you’re ready now,” Samantha said. “Come. Sit.”

Link followed her instruction and slowly stepped to his chair by the fire. As he approached, he saw the women more clearly. Samantha presented herself with the same the long black curls, olive skin, and super uniform that she had at the end of the dream. Sarah, on the other hand, was hardly a being at all. Seated beside Samantha, their hands linked together, Sarah existed the shadow of a silhouette. Link simultaneously saw her as a human and as nothing at all. She was a dark paradox of empty space and complete being. Link stared, trying his best to make sense of her.

“Sarah doesn’t like to put on a fake image when she doesn’t have to,” Samantha explained. “As for me, well…I like this look you’ve given me. I know it encourages you. I think I’ll keep it for a while.”

“Should I call you Wonder Woman?”

“No,” the woman laughed sweetly. “Just call me Samantha.”

“So you both are real.” Link gaped at them in disbelief.

“As real as any of your other alters. Just on the inside. You probably won’t see us here unless you ask for us directly, but we’ll keep this couch here in case you need us.”

“You’ll come to the head meetings?”

“If you like.”

“Why doesn’t Sarah talk?”

“She doesn't need to.” The answer was presented as if it should have been obvious. “We’re going to go now. We’ll be watching over you.”

“Will you keep coming to my dreams?”

“Of course,” Samantha smiled.

 

“Every night?”

 

“When you need us. Be strong, our handsome king. You are greater than you allow yourself to see.”

 

With these words, the women vanished and Link’s mind went blank. His eyes opened and he was once again looking at his own face in the mirror. A lingering sense ticked the back of his mind as he reached for his toothbrush. A warm embrace. The touch of loving fingertips. A reminder that he was so much stronger than his troubles.


	4. His Lonely Dilemma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Over and over they call us their friends_  
>  Can't we find something else to pretend?  
> Like nobody's won and we're safe at the end.  
> \--Regina Spektor, Call Them Brothers

Link pulled into Rhett’s driveway and honked the horn. The two of them had made a habit of carpooling to work and today was Link’s turn in the driver’s seat. Rhett had tried to take over driving every day for a while when Link was still getting used to having alters but Link wouldn’t hear it. He wasn’t going to be treated any differently now than he had been before his diagnosis. It was impossible to say that nothing had changed, but it hadn’t changed so much that he had lost his status a capable adult. For a few weeks Link could tell that Rhett was nervous when Link was behind the wheel. He always seemed to be waiting for the moment when Charlie or Mister would suddenly decide they wanted to learn how to drive in the middle of the interstate, but when the worst never occurred he began to relax.

“Good morning!” Link chimed as Rhett slid into the passengers seat next to him.

“What’s got you so chipper?” Rhett asked. “Link, I think you’re glowing. Are you pregnant?” He placed his hand on his friends belly and Link swatted it away with a laugh.

“Nah, man,” Link replied. “I just had a good night.”

“Oh ho!” Rhett exclaimed with a knowing grin. “That explains the glow, then.”

“God, I wish,” Link said. "No, that hasn’t happened in a while. I just had a good dream.”

“One could almost say that was better. How many girls?”

“Two,” Link said without thinking. Rhett slapped him on the shoulder.

“Well aren’t you the imaginary stud?”

“N-no,” Link said, becoming flustered. “That’s not what I meant either. My dream wasn’t… I met two new alters. Women alters.”

“You had sex with dream alters?”

“Would you stop?” Link’s face was bright red. The sound Rhett’s laughter slowly subsided but a twinkle of it still remained in his eyes.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said. “I’m listening. Tell me about these new alters. They’re women?”

“Yeah. It was crazy.”

“Well that’s a given,” Rhett said, nudging Link’s ribs with his elbow. Now that Link felt more comfortable with his condition the occasional crazy joke was allowed, but only between the two of them. Although Link said it was fine, Rhett kept them few and far between. Some moments though, like now, he couldn’t resist.

“Are you going to listen?” Link asked, exasperated.

“Yes, yes. Listening,” Rhett nodded with mock stoicism.

“I’ve never sensed them in the headspace before today, but they were definitely real. They’ve shown up in dreams before, too, I just didn’t know it was them. They say it’s easier to talk to me that while I’m dreaming. Well, one said it. The other didn’t speak a word the whole time.”

“What did they show up to tell you?” Rhett asked.

“That I’m Batman,” Link replied with a grin.

“Link…” Rhett said, trending lightly. He wasn’t sure if this was a joke or not. “Let’s not add delusions of grandeur to your symptom list please.”

“No, no,” Link shook his head. “It was a metaphor. The whole dream was focused on reliving good memories and happy fantasies. They wanted to make me feel at peace. Better than at peace. They wanted me to feel powerful. Like I can overcome all this stuff I’m dealing with.”

“You _can_ overcome all this stuff,” Rhett said.

“I mean, I know that,” Link said. “But I don’t always believe it.”

“That’s a phrase you use a lot lately,” Rhett stated. Link shrugged.

“It’s kind of just a state of being for me at this point. I’ve learned to accept it.”

“Well I’m glad that they can help you actually believe. Do these mystery ladies have names?”

“Samantha and Sarah,” Link replied.

“More S’s, huh?” Rhett asked thoughtfully.

“What do you mean?” asked Link, a confused look on his face.

“Well, let’s see.” Rhett began counting on his fingers. “Seaborne. Susan. Samantha. Sarah. You’re more than fifty percent S’s. Charlie, Mister, and Larnold are officially outnumbered.”

“I mean, it’s not that confusing is it?” Link objected. “We grew up knowing, like, six different Mikes. We never got them mixed up.

“That’s because we hung out with them,” Rhett replied. “When we talked about them while they weren’t around we had to be super specific about who we were referring to, remember? There was high school Mike, trashy Mike, little Mike…”

Link frowned as Rhett continued to explain his point. He wished he could convey his own thoughts as clearly as Rhett could translate his. The alters might be mere concepts to Rhett, but they were very real and very present to Link. Every part of their character, every fear and hope and dream and frustration were all shared with him on a daily basis. He could see their faces in his mind. He could hear their voices. When they fronted, he shared their thoughts. How could he explain that level complex intimacy in a way Rhett could truly understand? Was it even possible relate what it felt like to be multiple?

Link thought back to their middle school days when Rhett, who was always more popular than Link, started to hang out with a new group of boys. They were all sporty and cool and everything that Link felt he was not. Link had tried to be invested in Rhett’s new life, he really had, but no matter how many stories Rhett shared about his friends, Link felt disconnected from it all. Rhett would laugh when he mentioned a joke that the group shared and Link would chuckle along even though he didn’t understand why it was funny. He tried to keep track who was who but he could never remember which one won the track medals and who got the new Sega last week. Eventually Rhett’s birthday rolled around and all of Rhett’s new friends were invited. When Link finally got to meet them in person, all the stories Rhett had told him before suddenly mattered. These people were more than concepts. They were real individuals with faces and voices of their own.

That must be what it felt like for Rhett and Christy. When he talked about the alters, he wondered if they had the same thoughts that Link had had in middle school. Did they only listen to entertain him? Did they care that Susan was a vegetarian or that Charlie liked watching videos of Five Nights at Freddy’s but was too scared to actually play the game? Those details never came up while the alters were fronting. They were bits of information that only Link knew and cared about. They were part of what made the alters the wonderful beings that they were. They could try, the others would never be able to appreciate that the way Link could.

Rhett changed the topic of conversation to the day’s filming. Stevie and the crew had spent all night setting up a contraption for the game they’d be playing this morning. Link nodded and “mm-hmm'd" when appropriate, but his mind was elsewhere.

Sharing thing was a part of who Link was. His extroverted spirit felt so much more joy when he could involve the people he loved in the things he loved. That’s part of what made being an internet performer so easy. He could bare his soul to thousands of viewers and not give it a second thought. His relationship with his alters, though, would be something internal forever. As this realization dawned on him, Link tensed. He was an outsider. Even here in the car with Rhett, his life long best friend, he didn’t completely belong. For the first time in his life, Link felt terribly, terribly alone. He wanted people to ask about his head family. He wanted them to desire their company and care about them. Truly care about them, not just for Link’s sake, but because they felt invested in the lives of the alters. It was a impossible desire, he knew, but his the realization that this was always going to be something he carried on his own weighed heavily on his heart.

He wondered if other multiples felt this way. Did any of them group up? Did they invest themselves in each other’s systems? Request time with different alters? Was it less lonely to have a friend with DID? Would he ever get the opportunity to find out?

“Link,” Rhett said loudly, waving his hands near his friend’s face. Link jumped and tightened his grip on the wheel.

“What the hell, man?” Link demanded.

“Were you listening to a word I just said?”

“Of course I was.”

“Then why did you nod and say ‘sure’ when I asked you if eating raw human skin was alright for tomorrow?”

Link sighed and his shoulder’s drooped. “Sorry, man,” he said. “I was caught up in my thoughts. I’ll pay attention now. Promise.”

“I wish you would have paid attention about sixty seconds ago,” Rhett grumbled, “because you missed our exit.”

“Oh crap!” Link quickly shifted three lanes to the right and took the next exit down so he could swing back around. They wouldn’t be late, but Link was still flustered with embarrassment.

“I need to know you’re with me when you’re behind the wheel,” said Rhett as Link corrected his course. “No disappearing like that, ok?”

“I didn’t disappear,” Link said defensively. “I was a normal person space out. That’s it.”

“Please don’t normal people space out past our exit next time,” Rhett said, over emphasizing the change in wording. Link wanted to snap back at him but chose to keep his mouth shut instead. He knew he was overly defensive lately. Every mistake he made put him on edge. His dissociations and switching already put his loved one’s in awkward situations. Anything on top of that might be the straw that broke the camel’s back. Every upset stomach or forgetful action put Link on high alert. Rather than be submissive and overly apologetic, traits he had never allowed himself to develop, he went the other route and projected his insecurities by angrily insisting that he didn’t deserve to be judged. He did this whether or not anyone acted judgmental at all. Most of the time no one did, but it never put Link at ease.

Link swung out at the proper exit and drove through the side roads that lead to the Mythical Entertainment building. He and Rhett were both tense from their heated exchange and so neither of them got out of the car. It was one of their rules: never go into work with an argument hanging over their heads. Knowing that he was at fault, Link slumped back in his seat.

“I’m sorry, Rhett,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean to get snappy.”

“I know,” Rhett replied. “Just…just stay with me. And don’t lie. If you weren’t listening you weren’t listening but don’t tell me that you were just to appease me.”

“I got it,” Link nodded. His hand hovered over the ignition button for a moment and then turned to look at Rhett.

“I’m going to North Carolina by the way.”

“You’re what?” Rhett asked, shocked. “But I thought we agreed…?”

“We did,” Link cut him off. “But Samantha said I should go. She said it would be ok.”

“Dream Samantha?” Rhett asked.

“Alter Samantha,” Link corrected.

“Alright,” Rhett said, holding up his hands in passive disagreement. “If you want to go you want to go, but you’d better reserve an extra ticket.”

Link knew exactly where this was going.

“Rhett, no…”

“You don’t really think I’m going to let you jump into this mess on your own, do you?” Rhett asked.

“You said you didn’t want anything to do with my family.”

“I don’t, but I’m more invested in you than I am put off by them. Reserve a ticket or I’ll get my own and you’ll have to live with the knowledge that I’m flying all alone surrounded by strangers who talk to much and drool when they sleep.”

“Those are both phrases you have used to describe me when we travel,” Link said.

“Yeah, but it’s endearing when I say it about you,” Rhett grinned. The tension around the two men had dissipated but it was quickly getting replaced with a new sort of discomfort.

“Rhett, you skipped Christmas to stay home and take care of me.”

“I did,” Rhett agreed. “And look how handy I was then. I saved Susan and Christy from a full blown catfight. Mission accomplished.”

“And I’m grateful, you know that, but—”

“So it’s settled. I’m coming.”

“But Jess. The kids…”

“They’ll be fine. And don’t worry about Jess being upset about the Christmas thing. I more than made it up to her on Valentines day.” Rhett winked and nudged Link with his elbow. Link immediately threw his hands in the air.

“And that is all the information I need on that topic! Fine. You win. I’m going to figure out a way to pay you back eventually, though. You owe me.”

“I owe you the chance to do something nice for me?” Rhett asked, raising an eyebrow. Link unbuckled and climbed out of the car. Before he shut the door he leaned his head inside for one last word.

“Yes. I will not have your charity hanging over my head. So hurry up and have a disaster I can save you from, will you?”

Rhett gave a deep chuckle and got out of the car. “Yeah,” he replied, “I’ll get right on that.”


	5. His Elephant Solution

Time was not kind to Link’s confidence. Every second that passed after he had hit the “purchase” button on the airline website chipped away at the pedestal of self assuredness Samantha and Sarah had built for him. On the day before the group was meant to fly out, Link’s hands were once again betraying his mask of confidence with their unstable shakiness. He tried to stifle it by sitting on them at any given opportunity. He didn’t bring any of this up to Christy and Rhett, of course. How could he? They were worried enough about him as it was and complaining about something he couldn’t change wasn’t going to do any good for anyone. Still, he needed advice. Thankfully, Mary had adjusted her schedule to give him his weekly session that day. The knowledge that he could air his last minute fears to his therapist was the only thing keeping him from driving out of town and hiding until Rhett and his family were on the plane headed out of state.

Link walked into the dim, incense scented room and took his normal place on the couch. As Mary sat in the chair across from him, he tucked his hands beneath his thighs.

“Thank you for changing our appointment at such short notice,” Link said apologetically. Mary smiled.

“I had a client cancel right before you called so it looks like it was meant to be,” she said. She brushed back one of her short brown curls. In her professional attire, Link thought her appearance hung somewhere between kind older woman and fashionable young woman. More prominent than anything, though, was the calm and welcoming energy that exuded from her presence. No matter what was happening in the outside world, this space was safe for Link. It offered him a respite from the worries of family and work and let him feel unconditionally accepted. He’d heard horror stories about therapists who pushed agendas or didn’t believe their clients when it came to DID. Link had hit the jackpot when he found Mary.

“You have a big trip to visit your parents coming up, from what I understand,” Mary said, nudging the session into motion. “Would you like to talk about that?”

“I just…” Link began with a sigh. Too many words filled his mouth at once and forced him to pause and recollect himself. “What if they don’t believe me?” he asked.

“What if they don’t believe you?” Mary echoed.

“I’m still struggling with this. A lot,” Link confessed. “I don’t even believe it’s real sometimes. Even after everything that’s happened, everything that’s happening, I still have days where I wonder if I'm not just making this all up.”

“And you’re worried your parent’s might perpetuate that fear?” Mary asked.

“I’m sure they will,” Link replied. “I’m not mad at them about what happened to me as a kid. I’m really not. I’m confused and hurt, but I don’t feel like I can rightfully blame them. It was all behind closed doors.” Even as he said the words, they felt wrong. His thoughts tiptoed back to his conversation with Rhett in his back yard. Link was so ready to blame this parents for every traumatic moment just a few days ago. Why would he tell Mary the exact opposite now?

“Forgiving them is very big of you,” Mary said.

“It’s really not,” Link shook his head, clenching his fists that were still pressed between his things and the fabric of the couch. He decided to let his mouth speak on its own, hoping that if he said enough an explanation would present itself. “I just don’t want to lose the feeling of family I have with them. I want everything to be ok even if that means ignoring the past. Does that sound stupid?”

“Not at all,” Mary assured him. “They’re your pack. They brought you a sense of safety and love for so many years, even if the safety wasn’t really there. You want to hold onto that. I’m sure there are other parts of you who want that, too. I will say, though, ignoring the past completely may not be the healthiest idea.”

“I figured,” Link murmured.

“You’re very tense,” Mary observed. Link exhaled sharply through his nose.

“Yeah, that’s one way to describe it,” he said. He realized as he watched his feet shuffle uncomfortably on the floor that he hadn’t made eye contact with Mary since he walked into her office. “I’m not ready for this,” Link said, his body drooping as the tension vanished with his admission. “I thought I was, but I’m not. So much could go wrong. I want everything to be ok, but we’re way past that point. My whole family life feels so fragile right now. One wrong touch and it will just shatter. I don’t want to lose them. I don’t want to lose what I thought we had. What if they call me a liar? What if they think my diagnosis is too much? What if they don’t believe me?”

“They may not believe you,” said Mary. Link looked up at her for the first time, surprised that she’d replied so bluntly rather than offering some kind of gentle encouragement. “They may get angry or defensive or pull away from you. A lot of parents have a hard time accepting that something this awful could have happened to their child. It’s a reaction you’re going to have to prepare for if you’re going to bring this up to them.”

“If?” Link asked.

“You’re under no obligation to talk to them about any of this,” Mary said. Link took pause. He hadn't even considered that as an option.

“Won’t it make things weird if I don’t?” Link asked. “Can I just ignore the giant elephant?”

“Maybe,” Mary replied, “but that’s going to be something you have to decide. Will it be worse to ignore it or to face it?” Link didn't respond. His mind was instantly abuzz with a dozen different scenarios and outcomes. Mary allowed Link to stew in silence for a bit before gently pulling him back to the session.

“Was there anything else you wanted to address before your trip?” she asked.

“Oh, yeah!” Link said, a memory hitting him. “I met two more alters a few days ago. They’re women which is kind of weird. They talked to me in my dreams. When I talked to them later while I was awake they said they weren’t meant to front. Is any of this possible? Can alters talk through dreams? Are they really alters if they stay inside? Doesn’t that kind of go against the definition of alter?”

“In what sense?” Mary asked.

“They can’t be an alternate personality if they’re just stay in the background not be a personality and, right?”

Mary chuckled softly. “They’re still alters. Some alters never leave the headspace. They stay inside to provide support or protection from the background. It can actually quite beneficial to have alters like that. Can you tell me more about them?”

“Well, they were kind. And really encouraging. When I woke up from my dream with them I felt like I could conquer the world. Do you think it was really them in my dreams?”

“I absolutely do,” Mary nodded. “You’re not my first client to have alters show up in dreams or influence them. The kindness you describe them having is very encouraging to me, as well. When you and I start doing memory work, or if a memory comes out on accident, having alters like those two can help the system stay together. Say Charlie shares a memory. In my experience with other clients, he will have a much easier time recovering if he can be comforted by an inside protector.”

“Something kind of weird happened with them though,” Link said. He’d been debating whether or not to bring this up, but it seemed like the right time. “They were very physically affectionate. They held my hands and one of them tried to kiss me. That’s weird, right?”

“Is it?”

“I seriously need to know,” Link said. “Is that weird? Is that something that happens?”

“It’s not something my other clients have talked about with their systems,” Mary said. Link’s sighed. He had a feeling that would be her answer, but it still made him uneasy to hear it. Abnormal in a world of abnormality…

“That doesn’t mean there’s anything bad or wrong about their behavior though, Link,” Mary reassured him. “Perhaps that kind of affection is what you need in order to feel at peace right now. I know you’ve been having trouble feeling connected to Rhett and Christy since this whole thing started. Maybe these two alters are trying to help you remember what being connected felt like.”

“Maybe. I feel guilty about it, though. Rhett and Christy try their best. Christy still hates being around the alters, though. She doesn’t say it, but you can tell in her voice and her body language. It’s still really uncomfortable for her. And Rhett is as accepting as anyone possibly could be but there are still moments when he just doesn’t understand. He’s been by my side since grade school. We knew each other’s every thought and action. I’m not used to being on a different plane than him. I don’t like it.”

“I hasn’t even been a year, yet,” Mary said. “There can be quite an adjustment period for things like this. Do you feel like you all are making progress?”

“I do,” Link said, “but I still can’t help but feel…alone.”

“That’s something we can work on,” said Mary. She didn’t say it was something they could get rid of, Link noted. It was something they could work on.

“I’m going to schedule you again for the day after you get back,” Mary said. “That way you can process whatever happened with me, good or bad.”

“Yeah,” Link said, his eyes on the floor again. “That sounds good.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Later that evening, Link paced around his bedroom chewing his thumb and occasionally glancing at the suitcase laying open on the bed. Christy’s things were folded nicely on her half; three days worth of clothes and hygiene products ready to go. Link had tried to bring himself to add his own things but as soon as he reached for a shirt or a pair of jeans his stomach lurched and he had to step away to quell his urge to vomit. How was he going to face his family if he couldn’t even pack for the trip? He needed to make a plan.

He could pretend everything was normal. He and Rhett were performers after all. It couldn’t be that difficult to be a different version of himself for a few days.

Maybe he could wait until the perfect moment to bring anything up. His parents already knew he had DID. Or perhaps it was best if he waited for them to say something first.

Or he could just call his father now.

Before Link could think better of it, his thumb tapped the contact that read “Charles Neal” and the phone began to ring. Sending a text would have been much easier than opening his mouth to start the conversation but waiting for a reply would have been infinitely worse than listening to a loaded pause over the phone.

Just when Link was starting to think it would be wiser to have this conversation face to face, he heard his father’s deep drawl through the speaker.

“Link?”

“Hey, dad,” Link said, awkwardly drawing out the length of each vowel. “How’s home?”

“Oh you know, same as always,” Charles replied. “I have a deer friend that’s been grazing every now and again in my back yard. She comes by every few days or so. I’m thinking about setting up a salt lick for her. Maybe she’ll start brining friends.”

“That’s great, dad,” Link replied, having paid attention to none of his father’s story. “You ready for us tomorrow?”

“Absolutely,” Charles said with a little more pep in his voice. For him, it might as well have been a shout of joy. Charles was an unassuming man had a very small range of emotion, which could be good or bad depending on the occasion. Not being able to see his father's face to help gauge reactions over this delicate topic, Link thought, probably made this a bad occasion. Still, he had come this far.

“You’re ready to see us even though…I mean…so, you remember talking to Christy right before Christmas?” Link stammered.

“You mean about your…your condition?” Charles cleared his throat on the other side of the phone.

“It’s not really a condition,” Link corrected self consciously. “It’s a disorder. But, yeah. That. I just wanted to give you a heads up about it just in case it became an issue. It shouldn’t be an issue. It’s not an issue. Even when it is an issue it’s still not that big of an issue but—”

“Take a deep breath, Link,” Charles interrupted. “You got some extra people up in your head, right?”

“Basically,” Link replied softly. “Yeah.”

“Are any of ‘em mean?”

“No! They’re all pretty good people. They can be quirky, but they’re all very nice and won’t disrupt anything at all. I just wanted you to know that if I start acting odd to just sort of roll with it until it goes away. Most of them are low key but one is six, so…”

“Is he gonna throw tantrums or anything?”

“No. He’s very, very sweet.”

“Then we’re alright,” Charles concluded. He had a miraculous way of making the most uncomfortable topics feel like simple little bumps in the road. Sometimes that meant throwing the majority of the issue under the rug, but in this case Link was grateful.

“So what do I do if they start comin’ out?” Charles asked.

“I guess, just…treat them like you’d treat anyone else until I get back,” Link said. Saying it out loud made it sound so basic.

“I’m going to take a guess and say you’ll be visiting your mama, too?” asked Charles.

“Yeah,” Link replied, wondering why he chose to ask this now. “The kids want to see her while we’re there so we’ll probably have dinner with her at least one night.”

“I figured. Try not to bring this up around her if you can manage it.”

Link furrowed his brow in confusion.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“When Christy called us in December she and I had a little chat about it. From what we know this only happens to kids who have bad stuff happen to ‘em when they’re little. I can’t think of a single time that could have happened to you but I know I wasn’t always the best father growing up. Your mom got real defensive, though. She’s having trouble handling the suggestion that she let something happen to you. Just, er, try not to get her riled up. You know how she gets.”

Link nodded slowly before he realized that the gesture couldn’t be seen. He offered an almost inaudible, “yeah, alright,” before wishing his father a good rest of his day and hanging up the call. With a long sigh, Link plopped down on the corner of the bed and stared at the judgmental emptiness on his half of the suitcase. Then he stood and headed downstairs. Packing could wait a few more hours.


	6. His Alters' Woes

The next morning Link’s alarm sounded before dawn. Soon after, five bodies were bustling around the house preparing for a plane ride in an excited frenzy. Link double checked that the carry on had enough snacks for Lando during the flight. Then he made sure that there were snacks for Lincoln and Lily who didn’t need snacks and would only want snacks because their brother got some. While he went about his food gathering duties, Christy put identification tags on all the luggage and hurried the three children through their morning routines. In a record sixty minutes, all of the Neal’s were showered, dressed, and standing at the door with their bags. Rhett had decided to meet them at the airport, so the five of them piled into their minivan and headed out.

The Bob Hope airport wasn’t as quiet as Link had expected it to be at six thirty in the morning, but check in and security still moved fast enough to avoid getting on Link’s nerves. There was little that perturbed him more than waiting in lines. Christy and Rhett mocked his impatience relentlessly any time they were at the supermarket or stuck in traffic, but that, of course, only added to the irritation.

A little past seven, the Neal family was in the terminal and walking up to their gate to wait for boarding.

“Do you see Rhett anywhere?” Link asked Christy, scanning the crowds. As if summoned, Link saw his friend rise from his seat and tower over everyone else in the area. He must have spotted them first.

“Good morning, slow pokes!” Rhett greeted them with a grin. He had no carry on but he wore a  bright orange travel pillow around his neck.

“You know you have hands, right?” Link joked, motioning to the pillow. “You look like a car crash victim.”

Rhett waved his hands in the air in response. “Yeah,” he retorted, “but look how much freedom I have to grab things. You gotta be efficient, Neal.”

“How long have you been here?” Christy asked, herding the group toward an empty row of seats. “I thought you drove yourself so you could sleep in.”

“I drove myself because I know how long it takes for this one to get ready in the morning,” Rhett said, giving Link’s shoulder a nudge.

“I also have three kids I need to get ready too, thank you very much,” Link replied. Rhett snorted.

“Sure, man. That definitely wasn’t Christy’s job this morning.”

Christy tried to hide her giggle. Lincoln and Lily were not so discrete with their laughter.

“It’s ok, dad,” Lily said. “We love you not matter how slow you are.” Link rolled his eyes which inspired a new eruption of giggles. Rhett and Link sat next to each other at the edge of the row of seats.

“Today's the big day,” Rhett said in a low voice. “Are you ready for this? It’s not to late to back out.”

“You’re talking to me like I’m a scared groom on my wedding day.”

“Yeah, except your hands weren’t shaking that much on your wedding day,” Rhett said.

“Gosh dang it,” Link grumbled, shoving his fists in his pockets. Rhett put his hand on Link’s shoulder.

“It’ll be ok, brother. I’m here. You got nothing to worry about.”

_Nothing to worry about, my ass_. The thought floated to the forefront of Link’s mind, but the emotion and voice behind it were very much not his.

_Seaborne, not_ now, Link thought in return, shaking his head to silence the other voice. Rhett raised an eyebrow but before he could ask questions, Link had pulled out his phone and started rotating mindlessly through different social media apps. Rhett took the hint and busied himself with his own device.

_You know I don’t approve of this, right?_ came Seaborne’s voice once more.

Link pulled his phone a little closer to his face.

_You’re only going to upset yourself and upset the system and then who’s going to clean up your emotional mess?_

_It sure as hell won’t be you,_ Susan interjected. _You just make messes and disappear. You haven’t said a word since January and you think you can weigh in now?_

“Stop,” Link ordered in an inaudible whisper. The voices quieted but the throwing of emotions did not. Nudges of agitation beat against his brain until his head started to throb. He pulled up a game on his phone. Maybe being actively involved in something would make it easier to shut out his headmate’s bickering.

“Now boarding section B for flight 2857 from Burbank to Morrisville,” announced the gate attendant over the speakers. Rhett slapped Link’s knee, causing him to jump.

“That’s us, buddyroll!” Rhett proclaimed happily and followed Christy and the herd onto the plane. In order to stay as close as possible, Christy and Lando had two seats on the window side with Lincoln and Lily behind them and Rhett and Link taking up the rear. Three tiny rows of travelers. Link felt a little guilty leaving Christy up front on her own but she had insisted that the adults needed to flank the kids in case anything went wrong. There was no arguing with her when it came to keeping the children safe so everyone lined up according to her instructions with no fuss.

“You going to pass out on me as soon as we take off?” Rhett asked. Link was notorious for his ability to sleep through any length of travel. Rhett was infamous for snapping photos of Link’s hilarious sleeping expressions.

“Maybe I’ll stay awake and wait for you to fall asleep,” Link said, grinning despite the increasing intensity of headache. The pain was coming to a sharp focus behind his right eye. It was hard to keep from wincing. “I can draw on your face with marker and then share that on Twitter.”

“Ha!” burst Rhett, drawing glances from nearby passengers. “You assume I could fall asleep here even if I wanted to. These seats are way too uncomfortable. Plus, they hurt my knees.”

“But you brought a neck pillow.”

“They’re comfy, man.”

Link laughed and shook his head.

“I think I’m going to try to go under now, actually,” he said, adjusting his position so that his head rested on the wall of the plane. He pulled away almost instantly as the sun from the window fell over his face. The light might as well have been a hatchet in his skull.

“You mind if I close the window?” he asked Rhett, keeping his right eye closed.

“I guess,” Rhett shrugged. He pulled a pencil and small notebook from one of his pockets and began scribbling something on the paper. Probably new song lyrics or thoughts for future skits. There was little that relaxed Rhett as much as when his creative juices were able to flow freely. Link slid the plastic cover down over the window and returned to his previous position. With a frustrated sigh Link closed his eyes, knowing full well that sleep was not his next destination.

The ranch house was louder than Link had prepared himself for. Seaborne, Susan, and Larnold were standing and pointing fingers, shouting accusations at one another. Mister was barking at the other alters despite his ability to speak normally, and Charlie had pulled his blanket over his head to hide from the cacophony of voices. Link’s greatest surprise, though, was the presence of Sarah and Samantha calmly watching the chaos from their love seat at the head of the circle.

“Ok, ok, ok!” Link hollered. The others stopped their fighting and turned to look at the new arrival. Charlie pulled down his blanket just far enough to peak over the edge at Link.

“Everyone sit,” Link instructed. “We’re going to go around the circle and everyone is going to get a chance to speak. One. At. A time.”

Larnold and Mister sat almost immediately. Seaborne and Susan stared one another down for an extra moment before slowly lowering into their chairs.

“Seaborne,” Link said in the most authoritative voice he could muster. “You’re the oldest. You get to speak first. What do you have to say?”

“I say this is bullshit,” Seaborne replied, emphasizing every word. “I say that you have no business going to see these people. I don’t like it. Charlie doesn’t like it…”

“Don’t speak for him,” Susan snapped.

“For christ’s sake, he’s hiding under a blanket you dumb bi—”

“Hey!” Link shouted. “I said one at a time. Seaborne, you’re unhappy that we’re going to see my family.”

“I don’t trust them,” Seaborne said, his voice calmer as he addressed Link once more. “You don’t know as much as I do. They’ll let anything happen to you.”

“But nothing is going to happen to me, Seaborne,” Link replied. “I’m an adult. It’s not their job or their place to try and protect me anymore. That job goes solely to me. And, I guess, you guys.”

“That doesn’t change what they let happen.”

“No,” Link agreed, “it doesn’t. How about I agree to be hyper vigilant this weekend? If things start to get hairy, I can always get my own hotel room or something. We’ll keep an emergency cut-and-run plan. Will that make you feel better?”

“I still don’t feel good about it,” Seaborne grumbled, “but I suppose it’s better than nothing.”

“Is there anything else you want to share?”

“No.”

“Alright,” Link said. “Susan?”

“This is bullshit!” Susan shouted before Link had even finished calling her name.

“I think this is the first time you and Seaborne have agreed on something,” Link joked. Susan shot him an unimpressed glare.

“Just because I was named after that woman does not mean I feel ok being around her again. I’m terrified of her. I know you’ll be fine but…Link, she…she tried to kill me.”

“She what??” Link’s face went pale. His mother couldn’t possibly be capable of that level of cruelty, could she? Surely he would have known about something like that. No person could attempt to kill a child and not go to jail.

“Every time I was out, she stifled me,” Susan said. “Shut me down. Kept me from speaking. She never liked what I had to say because I was always trying to tell her the truth. No matter what I did, she tried whatever she could to keep me from existing.”

Link exhaled. Susan’s definition of death was much different than his, apparently. “You don’t have to come out around her,” Link said, trying to appear empathetic and draw no attention to her terrible phrasing. “You can stay inside the whole trip. We’ll protect you for once. Is that ok?”

“Who’s going to protect me? Seaborne and Larnold can barely take care of themselves.”

“Mister is here,” Link pointed out. “And I’m sure Charlie would be happy to keep you company.”

“We’ll watch over you, Susan," came a woman’s voice. Everyone turned to the far side of the room where the newest pair sat smiling at them all. “We’re going to be staying here with you for a while anyway,” Samantha continued. “We’ll make sure nothing happens to you.”

“Who are you?” Susan asked. “I don’t remember ever seeing you two get created.”

“We stay in the background,” Samantha replied. “We’ve been here much longer than you.”

“Not longer than me,” Seaborne said, puffing out his chest defensively.

“No, not longer than you,” said Samantha, “but close.”

“Alright,” Link said, trying to pull everyone back on track. “Susan, do you feel safe here with them?”

“I think I do, yeah.”

“Is there anything else you want to say?”  
“No, that’s really it from me.”

Before Link could address anyone else, the plane began to taxi. Link did his best to ignore the stewardess’s seatbelt instructions and focus on the conversation at hand.

“What's happening?” Larnold said, stiffening at the sudden movement.

“The plane is just driving to the airstrip for takeoff,” Link said. “We’re fine. How about you go next?”

“Frankly, I can’t wait to get to meet your mother,” Larnold said, instantly distracted from the plane’s movement by his own excitement. “I don’t remember much about when I was made or why, but I certainly remember her. Damn, she was a model woman. You couldn’t ask for a better mama, Link. Sue was as caring and as doting as they come.”

“Did you seriously not hear what I just said?” Susan asked. Larnold brushed her words away.

“She didn’t like you because you were too rambunctious,” he said dismissively. “If you would’a just listened to the rules you would have been fine. She was strict about her rules. She knew what was best and she stuck to her guns. And admirable woman.”

“Jesus christ,” Susan groaned. “Go jerk of in a corner, will you? You’re making Freud dance in his grave.”

“You know my respect for her has absolutely nothing to do with that!” Larnold replied, both embarrassed and disgusted by Susan’s accusations.

“Larnold,” Link said, “I need you to stay inside when my mother is around. This is going to be a very fragile trip. You can sit close to the front when we’re around her but you absolutely cannot take over the body. Can you agree to that?”

“That hardly seems fair…” Larnold complained.

“Fair has nothing to do with this. I need you to agree,” Link said more forcefully.

“Alright, no fronting.” Larnold crossed his arms and refused to continue eye contact with Link. He presented as a forty year old man, but in that moment all Link could see in him was a pouting four year old.

“Charlie, what about you?”

Charlie gripped the edges of his blanket tighter, still only revealing his eyes and the top of his head. He shook his head when Link said his name.

“You don’t want to talk?”

Charlie shook his head again.

“What if I ask you questions and you just shake your head yes or no for me?”

Charlie paused for a moment and then nodded.

“Are you scared of this trip?”

Nod.

“Are you scared that mom or dad will hurt us?”

Charlie shook his head.

“Are you scared of seeing them?”

Charlie shook his head again. Link puzzled over what could possibly be upsetting him this much if it wasn’t that.

“Are you afraid they’ll be mean?”

Charlie nodded slowly, trying to decide if that was the proper answer.

“I’m scared they don’t love me,” Charlie spoke. His voice was muffled by the blanket and his own quiet fear.

“Oh…” Link didn’t know how to respond. “Do you want me to ask them if they love you?” he asked. He regretted the words as soon as they passed his lips, and he felt the full blow of punishment for speaking without thought when Charlie nodded shyly.

“I’ll try to get a chance but can you be patient with me on that, little man? This is scary for me, too.”

To his relief, Charlie nodded once more.

“Thanks, bud,” Link said, offering an encouraging smile.

“What’s happening now? We’re moving again,” Larnold interrupted. Mister was cowering on his rug.

“The plane is taking off,” Link replied. “We’ve flown a bunch of times. It’s ok.”

“It is most certainly not ok,” Larnold insisted.

“You’re scared of this but not his mom?” Susan asked irritatedly. Mister whimpered.

“We’ve flown dozens of times before,” Link said. “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

“No,” Mister said. “You’ve flown. We aren’t usually around for this part.”

“We could have all been hiding but you had to call this stupid meeting,” Larnold cried.

“I called this meeting because your stupid fighting was ripping my head apart like a chain saw,” Link shot back. “I could be asleep right now and no one would have to experience the flight at all but I feel like my brain is getting gnawed on by tiny rodents.”

The plane shuddered a bit and Mister barked, running to cower next to Larnold’s seat. Link heard Rhett’s concerned voice asking if he was ok, but he didn’t respond.

“Samantha, Sara,” Link turned desperately to the dark haired alter and the alter with no form. “Could you please help?”

Samantha stood and went to Larnold’s seat where he and Mister huddled together. She placed a gentle hand on both their backs and wordlessly guided them toward the stairs that lead to their respective bedrooms. Sara stood and opened her arms. As she did, the blackness that defined her grew and spread until Link was standing on one side of a dark wall, separated from everyone else inside. He could still sense them, he wasn't cut off, but the alters were effectively separated from the event that was upsetting them so deeply. Link noticed that the intensity of his headache had decreased immensely as well.

“Link,” Rhett said, lightly shaking his shoulder. “Link, what’s wrong?”

Link slowly opened his eyes. At some point, presumably after take off, he had curled forward and balled himself up over his legs. His hands were over his ears as he had tried to shut off distractions on the outside.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Rhett asked. Link uncurled himself and stretched his back as much as he could in the confines of the seat.

“I was having a head meeting,” Link said. “That’s all. Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You did scare me a bit. You yelped when we hit the turbulence a second ago. You’ve never been scared of flying before.”

“First time for everything, right?” Link forced a laugh. “Hey, did you bring any dramamine?”

“Upset stomach?”

“No, but I think I might need some help getting to sleep. Another first. I’m on a role!”

Rhett frowned looked Link over for a long moment, then he reached into one of his side pockets and pulled out a small box of pills.

“Sweet dreams, buddy,” he said, popping two of the pills out of their separate plastic compartments and handing them to Link. Link raised them in the air as a toast and then swallowed them both dry.

“Or no dreams,” Link said. “That’s the better option.”

Rhett went back to his notebook as Link was finally allowed to drift into a peaceful sleep.


	7. His Father's Curiosity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _In the darkness the film machine's spinning_  
>  So let's leave it on  
> We'll be out in the street  
> Before anyone knows that we're gone  
> \--Regina Spektor, Call Them Brothers

Link didn’t wake until passengers in the seats in front of him were already standing and shuffling forward to exit the plane.

“Link, hey,” Rhett said, softly shaking him from slumber. “We gotta get off the plane or who knows where you’ll end up next. I didn’t fly all the way out here to spend time with Christy and the kids while you camp out in Colorado or something.”

“Mmmm…Colorado sounds nice,” Link mumbled sleepily, rubbing his eyes.

“Maybe next year. Up. Up.” Rhett hoisted Link to his feet by his upper arm. Link was playfully tempted to let his body go limp so that Rhett would be pulled down by his weight, but it was already their turn to exit their seats. He shuffled in line off of the plane where he reunited with Christy and the rest of his family and headed to the bag pickup. On their way, Christy slid her fingers between Links and kissed his shoulder. Link could practically smell the sugar she was heaping up.

“Yes, dear?” Link grinned knowingly.

“Link, my darling husband,” Christy said, playing up her role, “would you be so kind and generous as to watch over our offspring and grab our bags while I go get the rental car?”

“Need a break?”

“Very much so. You were most certainly the only sleeper on the way here.”

Link laughed and gave Christy’s hand a squeeze.

“Yeah, I got this.”

“You saint.” Christy gave him one quick kiss before rushing off on her own. Making sure to keep the kids in sight at all times, Link stood at the baggage claim and waited for the belt to kick off.

“I can’t wait for grandma’s ham and mashed potatoes,” Lily said, rocking from heal to toe on her sneakers as they waited.

“That’s Christmas food,” Lincoln told her. Lily shrugged.

“She said she was making it anyway. I asked her on the phone and she said she’d cook anything we wanted.”

“Did you ask her for pie?” Lincoln asked, his eyes lighting up.

“No,” Lily replied, turning her nose up a bit. “Maybe you should have called her, too. You gotta ask for what you want. You can’t just expect people to know that stuff.”

“Whatever,” Lincoln grumbled. Link stepped in to calm any tension before it grew into a sibling fight in the car.

“You can call her when we get to grandpa’s,” he said. “Grandma loves baking. I’m sure she has all the ingredients ready to go anyway.”

Lincoln beamed as the buzzer above their baggage claim began to scream the the belt kicked into life. Defying all laws of chance, Rhett’s bag was the first one to appear through the flaps of the baggage door.

“Rhett, it’s a miracle!” Link said, and turned around. Rhett wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

“I got it!” Lincoln announced and hopped over to grab the brown suitcase. Lando tapped Link’s hip to get his attention.

“Dad, I’m bored.”

“I know, buddy,” Link said. “We just have to get our bags and then we’ll be driving to grandpa’s. You think you can wait a little bit longer with me?”

“I guess.”

“Thanks, buddy,” Link smiled, placing his hand lovingly on the back of the boy’s head. Lincoln returned, dragging Rhett’s suitcase behind him.

“Lily,” Link called over the din of conversation and the rumble of the luggage belt, “did you see where Rhett went?”

“I dunno,” Lily shrugged.

“I’m right here,” Rhett said, jogging over to the group, a key looped by its ring around his middle finger. “Sorry about that. My bag came already?”

“Yeah,” Link replied. “We’re still waiting for ours.”

“Here’s your bag,” Lincoln offered proudly. Rhett thanked him and took it, setting it on the ground by his feet.

“What’s that?” Link asked, gesturing to the foreign key hanging against Rhett’s palm.

“Rental car,” Rhett replied.

“Why wouldn’t you just ride in ours?”

“I, uh, I got my own hotel room for the weekend,” Rhett admitted, scratching his beard.

“What? Why?”

“I didn’t want to impose on Charles I guess,” Rhett said. “Plus, I figured it would be good to have a neutral space in case…you know.” Rhett gave a glance at the kids and decided not to finish his thought. ‘You know’ could have meant a dozen different things, but Link was thankful for an escape route from all of them.

“So are you coming over to my dad’s place at all tonight?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there for dinner. I think I’m going to check in at the hotel and relax for a few hours first, though. Clear my head.”

“Why do you need to clear your head?” Link asked. Rhett gave him a serious look.

“Buddy, I think you know why.”

Link nodded solemnly. Rhett had mentioned more than once how much he was troubled by what they’d learned about his family over the previous months. Even still, Link didn’t realize it unsettled him that deeply. There must have been a lot of inner conflict when Rhett decided to travel with him. Or maybe there thad been no conflict and he jumped on board completely ignoring his own discomfort. Link tried his best to let gratefulness overpower his feeling of guilt.

“I got the car!” Christy chimed, bouncing up and waving her key in the air. “Have our bags come through, yet?”

“Not yet,” Link replied just as Lily shouted, “Here comes mine!”

In a few more minutes, everyone had their things and was headed to their respective cars.

“Is Rhett not coming with us?” Christy asked as Rhett pealed away from the group in the parking garage.

“He’s got his own room,” Link said. He didn’t feel like expanding on his explanation.

“It makes sense,” Christy shrugged. “A man needs his space.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Link replied. He traded Christy the suitcase for the car key and climbed in to the drivers seat.

When they pulled into Charle’s driveway, he was sitting on the porch waiting for them. It was a fifteen minute drive outside of the city limits and his home was one of five in the immediate area. Behind what could hardly be called the neighborhood was acres and acres of trees and wild land. It was private, owned by whom Link didn’t know, but it provided lovely scenery. The quiet buzz of nature was a welcome escape from loud barrage of noise in the city and the air, despite the heat, was fresh and smelled sweet.

“Hey there, kids,” Charles said with a smile, meandering off the porch and down to meet Link and the rest in the driveway. Link helped Lando out of his seat and the kids ran with open arms to embrace their grandfather. Charles was careful to mute his emotions—growing up in the south during the fifties and sixties had taught him that men kept their expressions under wraps—but there was always a shine in his eye whenever he looked at his grandkids. To Link, it was one of the grandest displays of love he’d ever seen.

“Hey pops,” Christy said, offering a hug and giving Charles a peck on the cheek. Link embraced his father in turn.

“It’s good to see you again, son,” Charle’s deep voice spoke into Link’s ear.

“It’s good to see you too, dad.”

“Let’s get your stuff to your room, huh?”

Although it was unnecessary after years of visits, Charles led Link and Christy to their room and the three kids to the room they would share. As was tradition, each child found a chocolate bar on their pillow as a welcome gift. The kids sat in the living room playing on their electronic devices and munching candle while Christy gathered her things from the suitcase so that she could shower. No matter how short the plane ride, she always showered immediately after. Being crammed so close to so many strangers never sat well with her. That left Link alone in Charles’s company.

“Let’s go sit outside,” Charles suggested. “It’s a nice day.”

Link followed his father out onto the deck attached to the back of the house, isolating them that much further. It was muggy but the sun was just low enough that the shade of the house offered some refuge. Charles pulled one of the metal chairs out of the direct sun and took a seat. Link followed suit. The chair felt uncomfortably hot even through his jeans.

“How is California?” Charles asked casually.

“Good. It’s good,” Link replied. “Just, you know, work and stuff. Always figuring out something new to entertain the internet.”

“Oh gosh,” Charles laughed a deep, husky laugh. “You boys and that show. I’ll never let you convince me to go on that thing again.”

“But the viewers loved you!” Link insisted with a smile. It was true. Their fan base had adored Charle’s guest appearance as a mock game show host.

“I read you cookie questions and watched you eat congealed blood,” Charles replied. “I think I've had my fill of the internet for a good few years.”

“Well if you change your mind, Rhett and I will be happy to have you back.”

“So tell me about these personalities you’re dealing with.”

Link raised his eyebrows. His dad certainly knew how to get straight to a point.

“Um…” Link began, “what would you like to know?”

“I don’t know. Just tell me about them, I guess.”

“Well, there’s five,” Link said, and then shook his head. “No, seven. There’s seven now, sorry.”

“You makin’ new ones?” Charles chuckled.

“They’re not new,” Link explained. “They’ve been around forever. They’re just letting me know they’re there now.”

“Is that all’a them? The seven?”

“I think so. I’m really not sure. I thought there was just four at first. Well—” Link cocked his head, “—I guess at first I thought there weren’t any. This has been a really weird experience.”

“So tell me about ‘em,” Charles said again.

“Like… _about_ about them?” Link asked.

“Sure,” Charles replied.

“Well, there's Charlie. He’s perpetually six, but he is the absolute sweetest six year old you’ll ever meet. Goodness, I love that kid to pieces. He loves to run and he’s absolutely obsessed with dinosaurs.”

“He’s got your name,” Charles said. Link chucked awkwardly.

“Yeah, I guess that’s kind of the point, though,” he said. “Susan borrowed her name, too.”

“Susan?”

“She’s the girl alter. One of the girl alters,” Link corrected himself.

“Named after you mother.”

“Yeah, but she’s not super happy about that. She’s sort of weird about mom. She’s sweet, though. She’s nineteen and takes care of Charlie. She’s got sass, too, when she wants to. Any time someone steps a foot out of line she is the first to jump in and put them in their place. She had quite a round with Christy once.”

“Sounds a bit like your mom.”

“Well don’t tell her that,” Link laughed. He carried on, getting swept away in describing his head mates the best he could. “Seaborne existed the longest. He’s very tough and very strict. He’s as stubborn as Susan is and they butt heads all the time. He’s the one who keeps the memories and shows them to me when he thinks I’m ready. Larnold is more laid back, but he lets his emotions get the best of him sometimes. Well, most of the time. He’s sort of a soft hearted redneck. He hangs around with Mister, the brown Labrador. Mister can talk and all that, he just appears like a dog inside the head space. He’s sort of reserved in his own way unless it comes to Larnold. Those two became really close really fast. Then there’s…

“Wow,” Charles said, cutting Link off mid stride. “The mind certainly is a fascinating thing, isn’t it? So complicated.”

Link looked at Charles and realized that even though his face was smiling, his eyes were not. There was a dimness to them that made it clear this part of the conversation had reached it’s end. Link had gotten too carried away. _They’re not real to him like they are to you_ , Link chastised himself. Charles had probably expected something simpler. A list of names, perhaps. Or maybe he just wasn’t prepared for the answer to the question he asked. He began to feel the dimness he saw in his father's eyes grow in his own but, like Charles, he kept a smile on his face anyway.

“Yeah, it sure is. Brain’s are amazing.”


	8. His Mother's Concern

The rest of the evening was fairly uneventful allowing Link’s uncharacteristic quietness to go unnoticed. Or at the very least, no one said anything about it. Rhett arrived a little over two hours later just as the family had finished preparing dinner and setting the table. Everyone talked and laughed over plates of pork chops an creamed corn. Inside Link’s mind, the tumble of voices was just as loud.

_If he doesn’t care about us why did he even ask?_

_You have to be patient. Almost anyone is going to be uncomfortable when they encounter a multiple for the first time._

_At least he’s trying. That’s better than anything I could say for Christy in the beginning._

_Please don't talk about us anymore, Link. I know he wasn’t being mean but it still hurt._

“Hey, brother, you still with us?”

Link snapped his head up from looking at his plate to see Rhett forcing a grin and extending a hand in his direction.

“You gonna pass the salt or what?”

“Yeah,” Link said, grabbing the salt shaker so quickly he almost smacked it off the edge of the table. “Yeah, absolutely. Sorry. I spaced out. I guess I’m still tired from the flight.”

“Napping on a plane must have really wiped you out,” Christy chuckled. “Tell those little voices in your head to shush so we can enjoy a meal with you present.”

Rhett gave Link a sympathetic glance. _I tried to be low key._ Link nodded. _I know._

Rhett stayed at Charle’s house just long enough to be polite. Once dinner was finished, they exchanged some amiable chatter and shared a beer on the deck before Rhett thanked Charles for a lovely evening and departed. Link didn’t want to see him go but he didn’t dare ask him to stay. Rhett had flown all the way to North Carolina to be his security net. The least Link could do was give him space if he needed it.

With Rhett gone, Link listened to his family bombard his father with stories of home, offering yep’s and uh-huh’s just often enough to convince everyone he was paying attention. When he and Christy finally crawled into the guest bed at the end of the night, Link found himself internally begging Sara and Samantha to visit his dreams again. To his disappointment, he slept soundlessly.

The next morning he was shaken awake by a towel-clad Christy. Sleep had cured some of the heaviness of the previous day and he was able to smile at his wife sincerely.

“Hey there, naked lady,” he said sleepily.

“Get up, you handsome bum,” she said, ticking his stomach. Link jerked away and laughed at her playful attack. “Your mom called. She wants us over at her place by ten. You know how she is about her schedules.”

“My mom called you?” Link asked. He stood and stretched, three loud pops sounding from his spine.

“No,” Christy said, removing the towel that covered her hair and rubbing it down her blond locks. “She called you but you slept through it. Then she called me.”

“Did you text Rhett and let him know?”

“Hey, I only play messenger once a day,” Christy smirked. “Now go get ready!” She balled up her hair towel and tossed it at Link's chest. He let out a squeal as he dodged it. Then, grabbing his phone off the charger, he stepped into the bathroom.

[Going to mom’s at 10:30] Link typed, sending the message to Rhett before undressing and stepping into the shower.

He was just slightly too tall for the shower to hit the top of his head without him stooping down so he let the water hit his back between his shoulder blades instead. The pressure and heat felt good against his sleep-sore muscles. He breathed in the steam building around him and sighed. Visiting Sue so soon, huh? He tried to reason away the small tendrils of anxiety that accompanied the thought. This trip was for the sole purpose of seeing his parents. He didn’t have to be a part of conversation if he didn’t want to. Sue would probably spend most of the time fawning over the kids, anyway. The more he reassured himself, however, the tighter fear gripped his chest. It didn’t feel fitting for the situation. He was nervous, sure, but this was something much, much deeper. It was a fear that did not belong to him.

“Who’s scared?” Link spoke quietly. Susan’s face instantly became clear in his mind.

“We’re going to be fine,” Link reassured her. In response, the fear spiked and caused Link to clutch at his chest with one hand. He grimaced and focused on keeping Susan close.

“I know you’re scared,” he murmered. “I’m scared, too. But we’re going to be ok. It’s just a short visit.”

There was still no verbal reply from within, but the fear began to mix with anger.

“We can’t just stay here. It would be too obvious. We can’t make everyone uncomfortable like that.”

Charlie’s face appeared next to Susan’s.

“You, too?” Link asked. Charlie nodded. Link was grateful that he seemed willing to communicate like normal rather than sending his own feelings into the already overwhelming mix. Link began to rub the center of his chest, actively trying to massage the fear way. He tried to think of a solution but his mind was too clouded by Susan’s invasion. The only solution Susan or Charlie seemed willing to accept was to stay at home and hide in bed. It was a plausible option. He could say he felt sick and didn't want anyone getting his bug. Christy would see right through it of course, but she just might let it slide. Then again, Sue was a good reader of bullshit as well.

 _She let’s the bad people in!_ Link heard Charlie cry.

“Mom does?” Link asked. Charlie nodded.

_She lets the bad people in. She lets the bad people hurt us and she doesn’t stop them and she doesn’t believe us._

Somehow, beneath Susan’s roaring flame Link could feel Charlie’s timid shaking. His was a much quieter fear than Susan’s, but it struck him much more deeply.

“Charlie,” Link said reassuringly, “no bad people are going to get us. We’re big now. We’re all grown up and strong. We don’t need mom to protect us. _We_ protect us.”

No one’s fear lessened. Link’s stomach began to churn under the stress.

“Alright, how about this?” Link offered. “You guys get to make the call. We’ll go over, we’ll test the water, and if it gets too bad or too scary we’ll bolt. I’ll be listening for your word the whole time. Does that sound alright?”

All at once the fires were clenched and the only emotions Link felt were his own. He breathed a sigh of relief and reached for the shampoo.

When he was finished his shower, Link wrapped a towel around his waist and glanced down at the sink where he had left his phone. There was one message displayed on the screen.

[Visiting my own folks today. Text if you need anything. I’m there if things go south.]

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

“Babies!”

Sue’s shrill cry caused Link to jump as he stepped out of the car. He watched as she galloped from her front door and into the yard with her hands high in the air. Aging had not depleted her energy. Lily, Lincoln, and Lando met her with equal enthusiasm, meeting her half way between the house and the car and wrapping their arms around her all at once.

“She never hugs me like that,” Christy joked as an aside to Link. When he didn't respond she tilted her head. “You ok?”

“Of course I’m ok,” Link replied.

“Are you sure? You’ve been acting a little off this morning.”

“I’m sure, Christy. I’m fine.”

“Then why are you just standing here by the car?”

Link looked at his hand which hadn’t yet removed itself from the car door.

“I’m just giving mom a moment with the kids.”

“Mmhmm.” Christy looked unconvinced. “I’ll meet you inside, skipper.”

Christy walked up to the house, blonde curls bouncing against her back with each step.

 _It’s her_.

Larnold’s voice came loud and clear into the forefront of Link’s mind. Images of Larnold rushing to Sue and embracing her played from a dozen different angles despite Link’s attempt to smother them.

“You promised,” Link whispered.

_But she has to know about me._

“You. Promised.” Link’s heart was racing. This couldn’t happen. Not here. Not now.

Link’s body began moving against his will toward the house, one foot carrying itself in front of the other. By the time he was on the porch he realized he hadn’t closed the car door, but his body wouldn’t turn around to go back. His hand reached to open the front door and as Link looked at it, it felt foreign, like he was watching someone else’s hand through a virtual reality mask.

 _No,_ Link though. _Please no._

“Sue!” Larnold shouted as he burst through the door. Christy turned sharply and stared at him with wide, warning eyes. Sue crinkled her nose and offered a confused smile.

“Sue?” she asked. “Why, that’s no way to address your mama.”

“It’s so wonderful to meet you,” Larnold exclaimed, wrapping his arms around the elderly woman and squeezing her a bit too tightly. “I’ve waited so long for this day.”

“What on earth are you talking about?” Sue asked, pushing away from Larnold's overly enthusiastic embrace. She looked at Christy, desperate for guidance, but Christy’s hand was over her face as she tried to will herself out of existence.

“I’m so sorry,” Larnold said, stepping back and running his hands down the front of his shirt. “Where are my manners? I haven’t introduced myself. My name is Larnold. I’m one of Link’s alters.”

“You’re one of what now?”

“Oh my god…” Christy whimpered into her palm and dropped heavily onto the couch.

“Alters,” Larnold repeated. “Christy said she told you.”

“Christy did say that you had a condition…” Sue replied slowly, eyeing her son wearily.

“No, no, Link has the disorder. I’m just fine.”

“I tell you what,” Sue said, backing away toward the kitchen. “Why don’t I get you some water. You seem a bit confused. A glass of water will be good for you.”

As soon as she spoke the words, Sue vanished as quickly as she could. Christy was on her feet just as fast and yanked on Larnold’s arm.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing,” she hissed through her teeth. Larnold looked at her innocently.

“I just wanted to introduce myself. It’s important that Sue know about us. She’s a wonderful woman, I know she’ll understand.”

“No,” Christy replied, “it is _not_ important that she know about you. I told her about the DID and she practically lost her shit. None of this is ok. Bring Link back.”

“I’m out and I’m gonna get to know her.” Larnold tugged his arm out of Christy’s grip. “And you can’t stop me.”

“Jesus Christ. Fine. I’m going to find the kids. When you’re done embarrassing all of us get back inside the headspace and stay there.”

Larnold watched as Christy stormed away into the kitchen and through the back door. Sue walked past on her way back to the living room where Larnold waited, a look of panic washing over her when she realized she was alone with this aberration.

“Here you go, sugar,” Sue said, offering a large glass of water to her son. “I added a couple mint leaves from my garden to make it taste nice.”

“You always think of the sweetest little details,” Larnold beamed, happily accepting the drink. He took a large gulp before sitting on the couch and patting the space next to him in invitation. Sue sat down in the recliner.

“So,” Larnold said, “tell me about yourself.” Sue sputtered a bit before regaining her ability to speak.

“Well, um…Arnold…”

“Larnold.”

“Right. I’m Link’s mom. And I love him very much. And I’m sure looking forward to spending time with him today.”

“Oh, don’t worry. He’ll be back,” Larnold assured her. Sue’s attempt at a grin looked more like a grimace. “He was a bit nervous about this visit, you know. Don’t take no mind to it, though. He’s been nervous a lot lately.”

“Why would he be nervous?” Sue asked, suddenly serious. “I’m his mama. He doesn’t have a thing to be nervous about.”

“It’s all them memories,” Larnold explained with an apologetic shrug. “He doesn’t know who he can trust anymore. Seaborne hasn’t showed him everything yet. Says it’s not time. It makes Link a bit shaky thinkin’ about it.”

“Link doesn’t have any memories he should be afraid of. He had a very good childhood. I made sure of it. I was a good mother to him.”

“I know you were,” Larnold said. “That’s why I’ve been so excited to meet you! I don’t know if we met before ‘cause Seaborne took all my memories and tucked them away, but I’m sure glad to see you now. It’s such an honor, Sue. You were such a good mother.”

“This good mother would very much like to see her son, please.”

Larnold’s smile faltered a bit, but only for a moment.

“Of course. Right. You were expecting to see him and not me, after all. I’ll get him.”

Larnold closed his eyes and Sue watched as Link’s body seemed to shrink in front of her. His shoulders drooped and he pulled his knees closer to himself. One hand slowly raised to his head, massaging his temple.

“I’m me again,” Link said quietly. He winced a bit at the pain in his head and moved his hand to rub his eyes. Sue cautiously rose from her chair.

“Link?” she asked.

“Yeah, it’s me,” Link said without looking up. “I’m so sorry, mom.”

Assured that her son was himself once more, Sue sat next to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

“No need to apologize, my baby,” she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Whatever that was is past. I’m just glad that little episode is over.”

“Larnold wasn’t supposed to come out.”

“Well he didn’t say anything mean, so that’s something. Does your head hurt? I can get you some aspirin.”

Link gave a half hearted chuckle.

“Aspirin does nothing for headaches caused by switching. The glass of water is just fine.”

“Ok then.” Sue stood and gave Link one last peck on the top of his head. “Well, I’m going to go out back with the babies. Go ahead and join us when you feel up to it.”

“I will,” Link said, taking a drink of the cool water. The mint made it feel even icier on his tongue. “Thanks.”


	9. His System's Decision

“Larnold, you fucking asshole!” Susan shouted. She balled up her blanket and threw it across the meeting room, missing Larnold by large margin. It landed by the fire next to Mister who backed away from it and barked. “You think you can just do something like that? Run off and act on your own?”

Susan was trembling, her hands balled into white-knuckled fists. Link was grateful all she had thrown was the blanket. As many times as he’d been here with all of them, he still wasn't completely sure where the line of possibilities was drawn. It wasn’t ludicrous to assume that in a world made entirely from Link’s imagination she would be able to summon much heavier objects at will. Link had no desire to find out what would happen to him if one of the alters hit another with a baseball bat.

“Susan, honey, you have to calm down,” Samantha spoke, taking Susan’s hand gently in her own. Her touch immediately calmed the teenager who returned to her seat in resignation.

“I was just doing what I had to do,” Larnold said. Link glared.

“You didn’t have to do anything,” Link said. “What you should have done was kept your promise and stuck to the plan we made as a group. I thought we were over this after you threw out all of my family photos.”

“It’s not like I stole the body,” Larnold retorted.

“It’s not? Then what do you call what you just did?”

“You were co-conscious!” he cried, throwing his hands up in the air. “You could see and hear everything the whole time. I wasn’t sneaking around. I didn’t steal any memories or run around without y’all knowing.”

“Link’s right,” Seaborne said. “You went against the system’s plan. We’ve got to work together if we’re going to keep this Link safe. That’s still our job, even if it looks different then it did when he was young.”

“But Link said we don’t need any protection anymore,” Charlie said quietly from where he had been watching on his seat. His blanket was pulled up to his eyes again. “He said we’re big now.”

“We are big, little man,” Susan said softly. “We don’t have to keep him safe from bad guys anymore. We just have to keep him as safe as we can from the stress of being multiple.”

“Does that mean we’re the bad guys?” Charlie asked, his grip on his blanket tightening. Link jumped in immediately.

“Absolutely not,” he reassured. “You, buddy, are one of the best things that’ve ever happened to me. You’re my light. Nothing about you is bad, I promise.”

Charlie nodded and said nothing.

“The problem still remains that Larnold took the body without permission for the third time,” Sara said. Link was surprised to hear her join the conversation. He had almost forgotten that she could The black, formless alter had a voice much like her appearance: both there and not there simultaneously. In fact, it was less that she spoke words and more that she imprinted her thoughts on everyone at once. Link was confused by the feeling of this way of communicating with the mind in a world that was already in his mind. There were too many layers to make sense, but then again, what made sense anymore?

“She’s right,” Samantha said solemnly. “I think that, until we can talk to the therapist again it would be in all our interests to separate Larnold for now.”

“What do you mean?” Larnold asked. He stood in a show of defiance but his voice cracked with fear.

“I mean you should stay in the back yard,” Samantha said. “I’ve added a small shed. There are windows so you’ll be able to see everything. You won’t be completely cut out, but you also won’t have access to the body or be able to plant thoughts in Link’s mind unless he reaches out to you first.”

“You can’t just lock me up,” Larnold shouted. He took half a step backward and bumped into his chair.

“We can,” Samantha said. “We don’t want to, but you can’t be trusted, Larnold.”

“Seaborne,” Larnold pleaded. “You’re not going to just let this happen, are you?”

Seaborne sighed and looked at Larnold seriously. “They’re right. This is a fragile time, and we can’t just take you at your word that you’re going to work as a part of the team anymore. I agree with the new girls. This is for your good as well as ours.”

“We can do this on our own, though,” Samantha said, turning her piercing eyes to Link. “This had to be your decision.”

Link fumbled, looking from one alter’s face to the next. Finally, he nodded.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Larnold said. Before he could object any further, he vanished. Link felt nothing but darkness in the place where he once sensed him. He gave Seaborne and Samantha worried glances. He agreed that something needed to be done, especially not after the encounter with his mother, and it had been him that had given the final word but there was something frightening about seeing a part of him locked away so easily.

“He’s going to be ok, isn’t he?”

“He’s ok,” Sara said in her odd, wordless way. “I will be watching over him. I will be watching everyone. My job is keeping this system, including him, safe and cared for.”

“So…” Link said, “what now?”

“Now you enjoy time with your family,” Samantha said with a warm smile. Seaborne leaned forward in his chair.

“You might also wanna ask some questions,” he added.

“Ask questions?” Link asked with a dry laugh. “That’s an odd statement coming from you.”

“I don’t like when _I_ get questioned, but I know how to sniff out information when I need to. You’ve been having trouble believing all the memories I’ve been showing you. The man who grabbed you by the throat. The neighbor’s mom. I don't appreciate your doubt, but I understand it. When I showed you what Corey did, you asked your mom what age you could read, remember?”

Link thought back to New Years when he had accidentally been given his very first repressed memory. Seaborne had meant for him to see it, but not nearly as vividly as it had happened. Link had relived an abuse so sick that a cold weight still formed in his gut when he thought of it. There had been one detail of the memory, though, that had seemed odd and out of place at the time. He had been reading a comic strip on the fridge right before any of the actual abuse happened.

“You didn’t believe the memory could have been real, especially when we told you it happened when you were four,” Seaborne said. “But then what did you do?”

“I texted mom,” Link answered. “I asked her when I learned to read and she told me I could read at the age of four.”

“And then you believed us.”

Link nodded.

“You don’t have to tell her why you’re asking. Just find some innocuous details and see if she can verify them at all.”

“You know I don’t think you’re lying to me about what happened, right?” Link asked. Seaborne nodded.

“Yes, but you don’t exactly believe what I tell you, either. Go get some reassurance that you’re not crazy. Oh,” Seaborne added right as Link was about to leave, “and go shut your car door.”

“Oh, crap.” Link pulled his consciousness out of his headspace and dashed outside. There really wasn’t anything in his car that was worth stealing and this was a safe neighborhood, but the idea of his car standing open and unattended still made him uneasy. It came down to the principle of the matter.

Link was relieved when he saw that everything in the car seemed undisturbed. He shut the door with a slam, pushed the lock button on his fob two or three times just to be sure, and made his way around the side house toward the back yard where his family had decided to gather.

Ask about details, huh? Link wondered if he could pull that off without his mother catching wind of what he was doing. Then again, she seemed to be enough denial that he could get away with quite a bit before her walls went up. But what would he even ask?

Link stopped just before reaching the corner of the house, keeping out of view of anyone that would be in the back yard. The bearded man who had choked him…Link thought he remembered him being there to babysit. He could ask Sue if he’d ever had a bearded babysitter when he was two. That was a fairly general statement, though. There could have been multiple bearded babysitters. This was the south after all. The man was bald, but that didn’t give him much more to work with, either. There had been yelling. The bearded man was yelling at a woman and then turned to him and pushed him against the wall by his throat.

A wave of fear passed over Link as he dug deeper into the memory. _We couldn’t breathe,_ he heard his mind whisper. _We couldn’t scream._

Link squeezed his eyes shut. Surely there was more. The man was angry, but why? What had Link done?

It was something about a television. Had he tried to climb behind it? Link couldn’t remember. Just a tv, the yelling man, and a hand around his throat. Then the memory ended and his mind went black. That would have to be enough. Somehow he would have to find away to work this naturally into conversation. If he couldn’t, well, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad either.

“Well if it isn't Regan MacNeil,” boomed a familiar voice as Link appeared around the corner of the house. Jimmy Capps, Link’s step-father, marched over to him and slapped him hard on the shoulder with a laugh. Link stumbled forward a bit and righted himself with an awkward greeting.

“Hey, Jimmy,” Link said half heartedly. Link was known for being energetic but Jimmy was on a whole different level. He exuded arrogance in the most boisterous fashion imaginable.

“Hey yourself, mister. I hear you’re channeling ghosts in my living room. If your head starts spinning I’m gonna have to call the priest!”

Inside, Mister perked at the sound of his name. Link had a strong urge to growl.

“Aren’t you cooking hotdogs or something?” Link asked.

“Yeah, just warming up the grill. I figure in about thirty minutes it’ll be hot enough to get started. Or maybe you can just go spew some fire on them instead!”

Jimmy laughed heartily, holding his stomach like a redneck asshole Santa. Link found that his desire to snarl at the man no longer came from the dog inside his head.

“Alright Jimmy,” Christy said, coming to Link’s rescue. “I think that’s enough. Why don’t you go check on the grill?”

“You guys need to learn to take a joke,” Jimmy chuckled, but did as Christy directed.

“Grandma made pie for after dinner!” Lincoln exclaimed. He was sitting on one of many plastic lawn chairs that had been messily organized in the grass. There was no table to gather them around so they had been put haphazardly in a circle to be adjusted as needed.

“Come, baby boy,” Sue beckoned. “Sit, sit!”

Link joined his family and felt as the cheap, plastic legs of his chair buckle a bit under his weight. How long had his mother had these? He planted his feet firmly on the ground in front of him and made a point not to lean back.

“Dad,” Lincoln repeated excitedly, “grandma made pie. She made apple and strawberry rhubarb and just regular strawberry because I hate rhubarb.”

“That’s quite a lot of pie,” Link said with a grin. “Do you think you can eat it all without puking?”

“Yeah, but you can’t. You puke all the time on your show.”

“Oh really, young man?” Link laughed. “I only barf when I’m eating spiders or pig blood. Are you telling me that grandma has spiders in her pie?”

Lily, Lincoln, and Lando all burst into giggles. Christy rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop a grin from showing on her face. Sue swatted Link on the knee.

“Oh stop it, you,” she said. “If you don’t eat the pie today you can always come back for another meal. It will still be good tomorrow. And when we finish it I can always make more.”

“You do love to bake,” Link shrugged, shirking an answer that implied a desire to return or a lack  thereof.

“I just love to see my babies happy,” Sue smiled and patted the same knee she had smacked moments earlier. “You’re my world, Link. You always have been.”

Link rubbed the back of his neck which was beginning to turn red.

“Love you, too, ma.”

“Keeping you happy wasn’t always easy. He was such a wild little boy,” Sue said, turning her statement toward Christy. Christy grinned.

“Then not much has changed.”

“He was a climber, too. Nearly scared the daylights out of me when he climbed to the top of the tree that used to be in our front yard.”

“You’ve told this story, mom,” Link said. “A lot.”

“I never gotta hear it,” Lando interjected. Sue beamed.

“Well darling, your daddy climbed all the way to the top where the branches were so skinny they swayed in the wind. I yelled at him to come down and half the branches cracked on his way back. I thought for sure he was going to fall and break his neck.”

“Did he?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I had,” Link said, reaching forward to rub the top of the seven year old’s head.

“No sir, all he got was a scrape on his leg when he slid back down the trunk. Risk was never a thing that seemed to get in your father’s way.”

Link smiled awkwardly as his mother gazed lovingly at him.

“So, er…” he wasn’t quite ready to be the center of attention again. “What kind of hot dogs—”

“You know,” Sue interrupted, “you had this one babysitter when you were younger…”

Links eyes grew wide.

“I came home from a date with Jimmy and you were so fussy. In the few hours we had been gone you went from my bright ray of sunshine to a little grump lump. She only ever got that one chance. No more. Turns out she had refused to let you play outside like you wanted because she thought it was too hot. We never had her back.”

Link’s muscles relaxed. Of course this wasn’t about the babysitter in his memory. How could it possibly have been?

“It may not have seemed like a big deal to _other_ parents—” Sue over emphasized this phrase, “—but I saw that as downright mistreatment of my boy and no one was going to mistreat my one and only baby boy. Not then…” she looked Link directly in the eyes, “…not ever. I was a good mother to you.”


	10. His Daughter's Defense

Rhett was silent on the other side of the phone after Link relayed the conversation he’d had with his mother minutes before. Link had excused himself to the bathroom and slipped inside to call his friend. He certainly couldn’t talk to Christy about this while they were still here—he felt too vulnerable to answer prodding questions from his mother and step-father if he pulled Christy aside—but still he needed reassurance. Rhett’s silence was the opposite of that.

“So?” Link prodded. “What do I do with this?”

“Link, I think coming here was a mistake,” Rhett said. “You seemed confident when you decided to make the visit and so I didn’t fight you on it but this is turning out just like I thought it would. Sue’s not going to offer you anything but pain, buddy. She’ll jump through whatever hoops she can find to tell you nothing ever actually happened.”

“She’s my mom,” Link said. It was a feeble rebuttal.

“She is, but things aren’t the same anymore. They will never be the same. We know the truth now and she can’t accept that.”

“Don’t say never,” Link insisted. “Never and always don’t exist. Things aren’t the same for now, but it could change tomorrow. We don’t know how long it will last.”

“Did Mary teach you to say that?”

“…yes.”

Rhett sighed

“Well for the _foreseeable future_ this is only going to cause you more pain then you need to deal with. Why don’t you stay with me me at my hotel room until your family goes back to your dad’s place?”

“Part of me really wants to,” Link replied. “But that’s going to cause a stir and I don’t feel up to getting interrogated. I think I’m just going to go with the path of least resistance and keep my head down here.”

“Link…” Rhett began, but he was cut off.

“I’ll be fine,” Link insisted. “I’ve got my whole head-team here to back me up if needed. If I can’t stand to be around mom, one of them can take charge.” He didn’t tell Rhett that one of them had already tried. The story would probably make him worry more, but more importantly, Link wasn’t quite sure how to discuss Larnold’s current confinement. Samantha and Sarah had reassured Link that it was a gentle punishment but as he reached inward to feel Larnold’s presence all he sensed in return was fear and anger. It was probably best not to think of it at all.

“Fine,” Rhett replied shortly. “Stay there. I'll meet you for dinner.”

He hung up and Link stared blankly at his phone screen until it turned black. He shouldn’t have let Rhett follow him to North Carolina. This was too stressful on both of them. Rhett was just doing his best to to make sure Link was ok, but Link wasn’t sure either of them knew what “ok” looked like in a situation like this. He was navigating a mine field; a step away from one danger could land him squarely on top of another. There simply didn’t seem to be a right answer. There were too many unknowns.

Link didn’t know what exactly he wanted from his call to Rhett. Logical advice didn’t make him feel better and any practical way of changing his situation seemed out of the question. All he’d managed to do was burden his friend and make himself feel worse.

He allowed himself a few moments to stew in self pity before sliding his phone into his jeans pocket. His jaw felt tight. Feigning a yawn, Link opened his mouth as wide as it would go to release some of the tension. He repeated this three times before the tightness in the muscles finally subsided. Everything around him was still.

What if he did leave? Right now, while no one was looking for him. He could duck out and text Christy as he drove off. They’d ridden together but an Uber would be cheap enough. There was a park with a lake nearby and lots of trees to provide shade. He could sit underneath one of them and just listen to the cicadas sing. No one would have to know where he was.

“Dad?”

Link blinked and looked toward the source of the voice. Lily stood timidly in the rear entrance to the kitchen, blocking Link’s view of the back yard.

“What’s up, sweetie?” Link asked.

“Grandma wanted me to come check up on you. Are…are you ok?” Lily rubbed the toe of her sneaker into the floor but held eye contact, reading her father's face for any sign of emotion.

“Of course I’m ok,” Link replied with a laugh he hoped sounded genuine. “Why would you even ask that?”

“Well…what grandma said was kind of messed up.”

“What do you mean?’

“Dad,” Lily groaned, stuffing her hands into her pockets and turning her head to look at the fridge. “Don't treat me like a kid, ok? I’m not stupid. I know what she was getting at with that ‘good mother’ speech.”

“Your grandma was a great mom to me, Lily.”

“Maybe, but bad people still hurt you. Maybe it was always while she was away. Maybe it was out of her control or she didn’t know until it was too late, but it still _happened_ , dad. The least she can do is say ‘oh, that sucks, what can I do to help you now?’. I’m not saying it’s her fault or anything. Maybe it is. I don’t know. But she’s your mom. She’s supposed to help you.”

Sunlight sparkled off the pool of tears building in Lily’s eyes. Gently, Link wrapped his fingers around her forearm and slid downward, pulling her hand from her pocket and taking it in his own. Lily looked at her father’s hand, sniffed, and met his gaze.

“It’s not your grandma’s fault,” Link insisted softly. He didn’t know if he believed what he was saying, but in this moment it was what he needed to say. “Not at all. She didn’t see what was happening. There were signs, but if you’re not looking it's probably easy to miss. No one thinks this will happen to their child.”

“But it happened.”

“It did.” Link gave a solemn nod. “And I think grandma knows that. She just doesn’t want to admit it. She wouldn’t be pushing so hard if she wasn’t doubting herself.”

“She doesn’t get to pretend you’re fine so she can feel fine. That’s not fair.”

“Nothing’s really fair, Lily.”

 _Nothing’s fair_ , his own thoughts echoed. _It’s not fair that I’m losing my mom over this. It’s not fair that these memories are poisoning anything good about my past. It’s not fair that I have to relive being a scared child but no one will comfort me like one because I’m an adult. It’s not fair that you can complain about how I’m being treated and I can’t._

“It means so much to me that you want to defend me,” Link said, giving Lily’s hand a squeeze and releasing it. “but there are some things we just can’t change. People’s opinions are usually in that zone. Let’s just enjoy grandma’s company in whatever way we can and figure out what to do from there.”

Lily returned her hand to her pocket, and exhaled deeply.

“Alright,” she said. “I love you, dad.”

“I love you too, sweetie,” Link smiled. Silently and solemnly, the two returned to the yard.

“Hey, there’s the side show!” Jimmy called upon seeing Link’s return. Lily shot him a glare. Link didn’t stop her.

“What did I miss?” Link asked, joining the conversation circle on the lawn as close to Christy as he could.

“Your mother was just telling me her favorite embarrassing stories about you,” Christy replied. “As if we haven’t heard all about your childhood antics already.”

“Oh, that’s boring,” Link said, calmly brushing his hand in the air, “I do enough embarrassing stuff as an adult. Those stories aren’t going to tell anyone anything new.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Sue grinned with playful deviousness. “Do you remember that day you came home wearing a princess dress?”

Lando and Lincoln both erupted into laughter. Lily’s stare became ice cold. Link’s face went white.

“I don’t think we’ve heard this one,” Christy grinned and nudged Link. “Babe, why didn’t you tell me about your cross-dressing phase?”

“I really don’t—” Link began, but his words were quickly overlapped by his mother’s.

“When Link was in, oh, what was it, kindergarden? First grade?” Sue began. “We lived in this apartment complex and Link had a little friend on the floor below us.”

 _Leave_ , came Samantha and Sarah’s voices in unison. _Leave now._

Link ignored their warning and internally shushed them away. He just needed to act normal. Avoid unnecessary attention. He kept still while Sue went on with her story.

“He would hang out all day down there on the weekends with little, um, Zack I think was the name. Zack was an only child and his mother was single so I’m sure she enjoyed having Link to keep her son busy, but I digress.”

 _His mom’s name was Rebecca_ , Link thought. He began to scratch absentmindedly at forearm.

“Zack’s mother was such a doll. She adored spoiling those boys. She was always taking them out for ice cream or to the park. At least once a month she would buy Link a new shirt or sweater. At first I was insulted. I was very capable of dressing my own baby, thank you very much, but I think it filled a hole for her. She probably wished she had a bigger family and was just letting her nurturing nature take over. Besides, I couldn’t really complained because Link looked so handsome in the clothes she bought!”

“Honey,” Christy whispered as an aside and put her hand on Link’s. He met her concerned glance with confusion and realized that the area he’d been scratching was raw and bright red.

“Bug bite,” Link murmered.

“Well don’t itch it like that,” Christy scorned. “You’ll make it scar. Should I get a bandaid?”

“I’m fine.”

“So one day,” Sue continued, her eyes sparkling, “Zack’s mother knocks on my door.”

Link’s head jerked sharply and involuntarily. A pain jolted through his neck from the movement and he massaged the sore spot with his fingers.

“It was around Halloween and I guess Link was just so used to getting clothes from his friend that he decided to help himself to a costume in the closet. So here she is, standing at my door with my little boy dressed head to toe in pink frills! It was the funniest sight. When she’d caught him putting on the dress she’d brought him straight upstairs to our door. She said I just had to see this first hand!”

"Dad dressed up like a princess for Halloween?” Lincoln asked through full body laughter.

“Apparently he felt the need to be extra pretty that year!” Sue exclaimed.

“It’s really not that funny,” Lily grumbled.

“Why did she even have a dress?” Christy asked. “Didn’t you say Zack was an only child?”

“You know,” Sue shrugged, “I thought it was so funny I didn't even think to ask.” Christy joined her children’s laughter. Link squeezed his eyes shut. Images and sounds were floating in his mind and his thoughts felt scrambled.

_Why do I have to wear this? I don’t want to wear this. She's angry. She’s angry. She’s yelling. Just put on the dress. Zack put on his dress. Why is she watching? Don’t watch. I don’t want you to watch. Don’t touch. Hands don’t go there. Don’t watch me. Don’t touch me. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t!_

“I need to go to the bathroom,” Link said a little too loudly and rushed back inside. He was nearly at a sprint by the time he reached the bathroom. He slammed the door shut behind him and dropped to his knees in front of the toilet just in time to wretch. His whole body shook at the images that had bored into his mind. It wasn’t just images, though. He could feel that hands. They were on his shoulders, then his back, then his chest, and all he could see was that sick, satisfied grin Rebecca wore every time she watched him put on his new clothes.

 _Feel less crazy now?_ Seaborne asked from inside. Link spit residual sick from his mouth into the toilet water.

“No I don’t fucking feel less crazy,” Link snapped beneath his breath. “Who’s memory was that?”

 _It was mine_ , came Charlie’s timid response. _I tried to tell Sue when it happened. I pinky promise I tried to tell her. She didn’t believe me. I musta’ told her wrong. I’m sorry I didn’t tell her right. Please don’t be mad._

Link grimaced and wiped his lips with toilet paper.

“I’m not mad at you, little man,” Link sighed. “I could never be mad at you. You didn’t tell her wrong. She just didn’t listen right. You did everything you could. That was a terrible thing you had to carry with you and I'm sorry you had to hold onto that for so long.”

 _Seaborne said not to show it to you,_ Charlie replied. _I showed it too soon_.

“That’s not your fault either,” Link reassured him. “It’s hard not to think about something when the person next to you is spilling it out in grand detail.” A bitterness seeped into his tone. Link started to itch at his arm again but pulled away quickly when his nails brushed again the tender layers of exposed skin he’d scratched down to in the yard. The area was pink and slightly damp.

Link flushed the toilet and washed his hands and face in the sink before digging through the drawers and medicine cabinet to find bandaids. Before he could find them, there was a knock at the door.

“Link? Honey?” Christy called. When Link didn’t answer right away she knocked again. “I know you’re in here. Can I come in?”

Link braced himself against the sink, his eyes determinedly avoiding the mirror in front of it.

“Yeah,” he replied. “Come in.”

Christy cracked the door open and peaked in cautiously before sneaking in and closing the it behind her. Almost instantly, her nose scrunched as the lingering smell of sick reached her.

“Are you ok?”

“What do you think?” Link asked. He hand’t yet looked up at her.

“Oh god…was that story about a woman who hurt you?”

“Yeah. It was,” Link growled. “And wasn’t my mother just so damn happy to share it?”

“Oh, Jesus. Oh my god.” Christy placed her hand on top of Link’s. “We should leave.”

“The kids have been looking forward to this dinner since before we left California. I don’t want to just rip them away.”

“Are you going to stay here after that, then?”

Link shook his head.

“I think I’m going to go grab some fast food and eat in the park on Center street. It’s quiet there. I need some quiet. I'lll keep my phone on so I can pick you guys up when you’re ready to go back to dad’s.”

“Link, honey, are you sure? The kids will be fine. I’m pretty sure Lily is a bit sour at your mom anyway.”

“I need some time alone,” Link stated. Christy could tell she wasn’t going to change his mind.

“Alright,” she nodded, giving Link’s hand one final squeeze. “If you sneak out the front now you can probably get a five minute head start before your mother starts throwing a fit. I’ll tell her…well…” She covered her nose against the smell. “I’ll just tell her you got sick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you beautiful beautiful readers for your patience this last month. Your notes of encouragement on the previous chapter were much appreciated. Mental illness is unpredictable and can get in the way of even the funnest things (like writing fan fiction) but I seem to be back on the upswing. I promise to do my best to keep updates regular!


	11. His Afternoon Daydream

The noon sun made every color in the park feel oversaturated. The primary yellows, reds, and blues of the metal playground equipment were glaring, causing Link to squint as he idly passed his gaze over his surroundings. His spot in the grass beneath the shade of a dogwood tree was pleasantly cool despite the summer heat, and he breathed deeply, allowing himself to release the events of the last hour.

The space inside Link’s head was quiet as well. He could still sense his headmates if he reached inside with his mind, but there was an overreaching stillness and calm in everyone. It seemed each of them needed this break away as much as Link did. 

Link allowed his mind to wander as a soft breeze cooled him. He was too tired to steer his thoughts so he allowed himself to drifting into daydream. The laughter of a family down on the playground equipment added a sort of cheerful ambiance and the clouds moved lazily past the sun, dimming and brightening the park as they went. Some of the heaviness in Link’s chest and head lifted. He wanted to find shapes in the clouds but they were too wispy to have discernible form. Instead, his creativity shifted elsewhere and he found himself lightly humming a tune. It was nothing that he’d heard before. He made the notes up as he went.

 _I like it_ , said someone from inside. Samantha’s voice was melodic, almost a song all on it’s own. _It’s making Charlie feel better, too._

“Songwriting is kind of my thing,” Link said to himself. “But you know that already.”

 _Yes, but that doesn’t make it any less special_.

“Rhett is better at it.”

 _I disagree_.

Link smiled and closed his eyes, drifting further from the park. He slipped into the recesses of his mind, finding a place that wasn’t quite the outside world but wasn’t the ranch house, either. A quiet little corner just for him. Well, him and Samantha.

 _It’s nice_ , Samantha mused. _The sound of the family laughing over there. They all seem so happy. I wish I could help remind you of happy things._

“Please don’t bring up memories,” Link requested, brushing off her words and trying to remain in his daydream state. “I’d like to just enjoy the moment.”

_Their laughter is in the moment, though._

“I suppose,” Link murmured to himself. It didn’t even occur to him that someone might be listening to his one sided conversation. Here he felt he could speak freely. “What’s you’re point?”

 _My point is that there is still goodness in this world_ , Samantha replied softly. _Don’t forget that, my sweetest Link._

Link felt himself slipping toward sleep and succumbed to it, laying back in the grass beneath the tree.

He awoke much later to the sound of his phone ringing in his pocket. The shade of the tree had begun to stretch in the opposite direction of where he was sprawled and he heaved himself up, hoping that he hadn't earned himself a sunburn during his afternoon nap.

He slid his phone from his jeans pocket just as the ringing stopped and the caller was sent to his voicemail. The screen displayed three missed calls, all from Christy and all within the last five minutes. Hastily, he tapped her name on the screen and waited for her to pick up.

“Link? Are you ok? I called you three times.” Christy seemed more worried than angry.

“I’m fine. I just fell asleep is all,” Link said. “Are you and the kids ready for me to come by and get you?”

“Most definitely,” Christy replied. “Your mom’s stories I can suffer through, but Jimmy? God, that man just never turns off, does he?”

Link chuckled and shook his head.

“Not ever. I’ll be there in ten minutes. Try to hold on until then, alright?”

“I’ll do my best, but no promises.”

Link rose slowly from the grass and began walking toward his car. Examining his arms he was relieved to see no pink tint, although the spot where he had been scratching earlier had noticeably scabbed over. Should he put a bandaid on it so people couldn’t see? No, that would just draw more attention.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Dad, I saved you a pie!” Lando exclaimed as the family climbed into the minivan. Link had requested that his family meet him at the curb so he wouldn’t have to knock on the door and deal with whatever Sue had waiting for him. Christy happily obliged. Link craned his neck over his shoulder from the drivers seat to see the gift his youngest held in his hands.

“You saved me a piece of pie? That’s really sweet of you, buddy.”

“No,” Christy corrected, “he saved you a pie. The whole thing. Your mom made way to much for any of us to finish and Lando thought you might be hungry.”

“Pie for lunch?” Link chuckled. “I’m down for that.”

Christy put her hand on Link’s knee. “I’m glad you’re smiling again.”

Link glanced at her hand and then raised his eyebrows devilishly.

“You know what would really make me smile?” he asked. Christy giggled. Lincoln, who was ducking into the van, threw them a glare in the rearview mirror.

“Dad, don’t be gross!”

“What?” Link asked innocently. “I just want some of your mom’s sweet apple pie.”

"Oh my god!” Lily exclaimed, gagging in only slight exaggeration. “Could you be more disgusting?”

“I mean, probably,” Link shrugged and gave Christy a loud, sloppy kiss. The back of the car became filled with disgusted cries and adamant protests.

“I don’t have any pie ready for you anyway,” Christy said, patting Link’s knee. “Not after enduring this disaster of a lunch. Maybe you’ll get your desert later.”

“Can we _please_ just drive?” Lily groaned. Link and Christy laughed as Link pulled the van away from the curb.

“Did you call Rhett to see if he’s coming over tonight?” Christy asked once they were a few blocks away and the riot in the back of the van had quieted.

“Oh crap, I forgot,” Link said, and then recalled the call he’d made after Larnold’s grand appearance. “I mean I forgot to tell him what time. He did say he wanted to come over for dinner.”

“I think your dad’s just planning to order a pizza or something like that. Nothing too fancy. We’ll have the big dinner tomorrow for the Fourth.”

“Sounds fine to me. You want to text Rhett since I’m driving?”

“Will do.”

As Christy had expected, a pair of Domino’s boxes were stacked on the kitchen table when they arrived at Charles’s house. A movie was queued up in the living room and Rhett was on the couch waiting for them.

“What are we watching?” Link asked, plopping next to Rhett. Their long, lanky legs inevitably brushed each other as he sat and Link felt a warmth pass through him as they did. If there was such a thing as platonic soul mates, he’d found his in Rhett. Christy was the greatest wife he could ask for, but he was never so comfortable as when he was sitting next to his best friend. Rhett was more than just a security blanket. He was security itself.

“I figured a comedy was in order,” Rhett replied. “I rented Airplane.”

“Is that really ok for the kids to watch?” Christy asked.

“It’s rated PG,” Rhett shrugged.

“Doesn’t someone get stabbed?”

“Yeah, but in a funny way.”

“Come on, babe,” Link pleaded. “It’s Airplane. It’s a classic!”

“I suppose,” Christy sighed. “I guess whatever this movie has to offer can’t be worse than some of the stuff that came out of Jimmy’s mouth.”

A deep chuckle came from the doorway and the three turned to see Charles watching the conversation.

“You’re setting the bar pretty low if you ask me,” Charles said. “Plates are on the dining room table when you’re ready.”

“Thanks dad,” Link called as Charles meandered back the way he’d come.

“Well I don’t know about you boys but I’m starving," Christy said.

“Will you bring me a slice?” Link asked her.

“Are your legs broken?”

“Yes.”

Christy rolled her eyes and Link responded by pouting out his lower lip and widening his eyes in the best sad puppy impression he could muster. Christy’s poker face didn’t hold long.

“Just be glad I love you so much,” she said and left.

“I am!” Link called after her.

“So,” Rhett said once Christy’s blonde curls had vanished down the hall, “does this mean you’re going to fill me in?”

“Obviously,” Link said, turning on the couch to face his friend more directly. “Today was worse than a disaster.”

“What happened after you got off the phone with me?” Rhett asked, concern showing in his furrowed brow.

“Actually, the disaster started before I called you.”

“More than just Sue’s comments?”

“Yeah…”

“Why am I just hearing about this now?”

“Because it’s weird and uncomfortable,” Link stated as if it should be obvious. Rhett crossed his arms.

“Alright,” he said, “what happened?”

“Larnold took over.”

“Took over your body?”

“Our body, yeah.”

“I thought it was established that taking over wasn't allowed.”

“Oh trust me,” Link said, splaying his hands. “It was more than established.”

“So what happened?”

“He introduced himself to my mom. And then we locked him up.”

“You locked him up? What does that even mean?”

“Well…” Link looked off to the side, “I don’t actually understand it myself. I guess he just doesn’t have access to whatever they use to get to the front. He’s pushed in his own little cabin way way back inside until he learns his lesson.”

“That sounds…harsh.” Rhett raised an eyebrow.

“He took over the body,” Link repeated.

“So you put him in solitary confinement?”

Link paused.

“Well, when you put it that way…”

“How long are you planing to keep him ‘in the back’?”

Link shrugged sheepishly.

“Until my next therapy appointment I guess. We didn’t really set a time frame on it.”

“So indefinite solitary confinement for wanting to talk to your mom?”

“If you’ll remember, the last time he took over he threw out our entire china set and ruined half of my family photos,” Link huffed. “I’m not just doing this to be a tyrant. He’s a loose cannon. A loose cannon in my body.”

“Just a few seconds ago you said ‘our body’.”

“Whose side are you even on, Rhett? Ow!” Link looked down at his arm. A new patch of skin was now exposed beneath his nails. He hadn’t even realized he’d been scratching. Rhett looked surprised as he glanced down to see the old wound next to the new.

“Jesus, Link, are you hurting yourself?”

“No, my arm is just itchy.”

“That’s it,” Rhett said, standing. “We’re going back to California. This is too much for you. We’ll stay in my hotel room tonight and fly out tomorrow. Christy and the kids can join us at the end of the weekend.”

As Rhett spoke a change washed over Link’s face. His eyes widened, not falsely like they had earlier, but in earnest fear. He put his hands up to cover as much of his face as he could while still allowing space between his fingers for his eyes to peek through.

“I’m sorry,” Link said, his voice a bit high and slightly nasally. “It’s my fault. I gave Link a bad memory and I made him throw up and we didn’t have any food today and I’m really hungry and I didn’t mean to be bad. Please don’t make us go. Please.”

Rhett’s face softened a bit, but a shade of irritation remained even as he addressed the childlike plea.

“Charlie,” Rhett said, lowering himself so that he was eye to eye with the boy in his friend’s body. “Whatever happened today isn’t your fault. You’re a kid. No one is going to be mad at you because you had a memory.”

“I don’t wanna go,” Charlie insisted. “Link will be mad and Christy will be mad and Link’s mom will be mad and—”

“Here’s your pizza, boys,” Christy said, appearing in the doorway. “Rhett, I got a piece for you, too.” Her paused as she observed the scene of Rhett kneeling on the ground before her frightened husband. Her mouth twisted a bit as if she was fighting very hard to keep certain words to herself.

“Who is out right now?” she said, each word slow and punctuated.

“Charlie decided to pay me a visit,” Rhett replied. Charlie squeaked and shut his fingers, hiding his eyes.

“God damnit,” Christy whispered under her breath. “First Larnold and now this. Can we have one day?”

“Listen,” Rhett said, “I’ll eat pizza with Charlie and you keep Charles distracted. We’ll see if we can’t lure Link out before anyone else figures out that he switched.”

“Fine.”

Christy dropped the plates on the coffee table and walked away, her footfalls landing a little too loudly in the hallway. Rhett sighed as he reclaimed his seat on the couch. He ran his fingers through the waves of his carefully styled hair and looked at Charlie, trying to figure out what to do next.

“I told you she’d be mad,” Charlie said, pulling his knees up to his chest.

“She’s not mad,” Rhett said. “She’s frustrated. Take your shoes off if you’re going to put your feet on the sofa.”

Charlie quickly kicked his shoes onto the floor and wrapped his arms around his folded knees.

“You’re mad at me, too,” he said.

“I’m not mad, either. I’m just frustrated.”

“Frustrated means mad.”

“It’s a little different.”

“How?”

“Well…” Rhett began and then gave up, letting his head loll back. “I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry I made you mad.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Rhett said robotically. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Charlie whimpered a bit and Rhett leaned forward, giving Charlie’s knee a quick pat.

“I’ll tell you what,” he said with forced enthusiasm. “How about you and I eat this pizza real fast and then go play catch in the front yard until Link comes out? Does that sound good?”

“But what if he doesn’t come out?” Charlie asked.

“Then I guess we’ll have to play catch all night.”

“But we gotta keep me super secret.”

“It’ll be super secret. We’ll tell anyone who asks that we’re playing for nostalgia.”

“What’s nostalgia?”

“It’s a word that will keep you super secret. Eat up.”

The two ate quickly, Charlie due hunger and Rhett due to a sense of necessity. While Charlie put the plates in the sink, Rhett inquired if Charles had the old ball and mitts he’d had when the men were younger. Soon, Rhett was emerging from the attic with them in hand.

“You ready to play, Link?”

“Yup!” Charlie said. He looked at Charles. “It’s for nostalgia.”

Rhett put a hand on Charlie’s shoulder and guided him out the door into the yard. Charlie was a terrible catch and an even worse throw, but soon he got lost in the fun of the game. Nervous glances began to melt into giggles and then into cheers. He threw his hands up when Rhett made a good catch and stumbled clumsily through the yard to retrieve the ball when he inevitably missed all of Rhett’s returning throws. Rhett couldn’t help but let himself laugh a little at the child’s contagious joy.

“That’s not him, is it?” Charles asked. He stood in the dining room, gazing out the window onto his front lawn. Christy, who was sitting at the table trying futilely to focus on the book in her hand, looked up at him with mock confusion. The sounds of laughter came from the living room as Airplane played for an audience of three.

“What do you mean?” Christy asked, dog-earing a page and shutting her book.

“I mean that’s not Link in my yard. It’s one of them. The little one.”

Christy hesitantly joined Charles at the window. A small smile broke out at the corner of her mouth as she watched her husband leap in the air and congratulate Rhett on another great catch. She looked at Charles to see the same smile on his tanned, leathery face.

“I remember when he was really that young,” Charles said. “He was just as happy as that little boy is now. He was always happy.” His smile faltered a bit. “This is really real, isn’t it?”

Christy cocked her head slightly.

“What do you mean?” she asked. “You didn’t believe us?”

“I didn’t think you were lying, but I didn’t know what to believe,” Charles admitted. “But that,” he nodded toward the window, “is not my son. Not at all. That is somebody else, no doubt about it.”

“His name is Charlie,” Christy offered.

“Right,” Charles nodded. “I remember that now. Link told me about him.” What was left of his grin faded away into the familiar stoicism that he normally wore. “That means everything else is true, too, doesn’t it?”

“It does,” Christy replied quietly. The two stood together in silence, watching the ball game in the yard played by the Rhett who was Rhett and the Link who was not Link.


	12. His Mysterious Comforter

Link blinked and looked down at the ball in his hand. His head felt heavy.

“Come on, Charlie. Toss it!”

Looking up, Link saw Rhett waving at him from across the lawn. Slowly, pieces fell together in his mind and memories of what had transpired while Charlie was out front fluttered back to him.

“No, erm, I’m me again,” Link said, half heartedly sending the ball in Rhett’s direction with an underhand toss. He threw it more to get it out of his own hands than to continue any kind of game.

“Dang,” Rhett said, his happy expression unchanged. “I thought you’d never come back.”

“I’m hungry,” Link observed. “Did we eat?”

“We had pizza, but we’ve been playing catch for a few hours.”

“Hours??” Link looked around and his jaw dropped. Somehow the pinks and purples that were painted across the evening sky had escaped his notice.

“I’m sure there’s still pizza left if you’re hungry,” Rhett offered, walking across the grass to his friend. “You want me to go check?”

“No, I…erm…thank you for keeping Charlie busy. I’m really sorry about all this.”

“No need to apologize, brother,” Rhett replied. “I was actually kind of getting into it after a bit.”

The streetlights near the road kicked on, drawing the attention of both men.

“Remember when we were kids and how disappointing it was when those things came on?” Rhett asked. “Our personal ‘go home’ alarm.”

“I should probably get to bed,” Link said, ignoring Rhett’s moment of reminisce. He extended his hand to take the ball and glove from the taller man.

“Are you sure?” Rhett asked. “You just came back. Are you steady?”

“I’m fine,” Link replied too quickly. “Just tired. Switching takes a lot of energy.”

“So does playing catch all evening,” Rhett replied with an understanding smile and handed over the baseball supplies. Link was appreciative that he didn’t push for more time or answers.

“I’ll head to my room then,” Rhett said, patting his pockets to make sure his keys and wallet were there. “I’ll see you tomorrow for Blow Stuff Up In The Name of America day. Bye!”

“See ya,” Link replied with far less enthusiasm.

Link heard the sound of Rhett’s rental car revving to life and the tires rolling against the cement, but he didn’t watch him go. He was still a bit disoriented. At least there was no headache tied to Charlie’s time out front. That was something.

When Link came through the door, the house was quiet. Only Christy was present in the front room, a book in her hand. She looked up and dogeared a page.

“Look who’s back,” she said with a grin. She stood and took the exhausted Link in her arms. He buried her face into her blonde hair and breathed in the sweet smell of her. They stayed like this until the heaviness in Link’s chest eased.

“Did the kids finish their movie?” he asked. Christy nodded.

“They’re all playing on their phones now. Did you know that movie had boobs?”

“Airplane?”

“Yes.”

“Apparently I forgot.”

“I’m screening family film night from now on.”

Link grinned and moved a bit closer to his wife.

“It sounds like I missed out. I didn’t get to see any boobs today. Wanna change that for me?”

Christy chuckled but pushed him back with a palm to his chest.

“Not tonight, bucko. Even if the visit to your mom’s wasn’t enough to put me out, you were a six year old five minutes ago. Let’s have some more time to separate child Link and sexy Link, ok?”

“Um, yeah,” Link said, trying to hide the inklings of guilt and frustration squirming in his gut. She always said the disorder didn’t change how she viewed him. She said it quite often. And yet the sentiment never seemed to fit with anything else she did.

“You still with me?” Christy asked. Concern knitted into her brow.

“Yeah, yeah,” Link shook his head. “I just miss you is all.”

“Maybe tomorrow.” Christy pecked Link on the lips and went back to her chair, picking up her book and unfolding the corner of its page. “I’m going to do some more reading before bed. Sit with me a while?”

“Today kind of sapped all of my energy,” Link answered honestly. “I think I’m going to just head up to bed. Enjoy your night, babe.”

 _I’m sorry,_ Charlie whispered from inside. Link sighed and repeated his old, tired mantra.

“It’s not your fault, buddy.”

It wasn’t Charlie’s fault. It wasn’t Christy’s fault. Blaming his mother would be easy, but no. It was his fault. This was all his fault. He wasn’t strong enough to control himself. The switching and the flash backs and the anxiety all overpowered him. If he was stronger, he could have his life back. The whole disorder, everything that came with it, it could all be cast to the recesses of his mind and he could just be Link again. Real Link. True Link. Not this weak pile of nothing.

The bed was made when Link entered the room. Christy must have thrown it together before they left for his mother’s house. His dad certainly wouldn’t have done it. Charles was a great host but was hardly the type to tidy up after someone else.

Link pulled back the sheets and settled himself beneath the covers, breathing deeply. He was especially aware of the stiffness of the old mattress tonight. He rolled from his back onto his side but the mattress did not give with the change in his position. He ended up with his pelvis painfully tilted and his lower back protesting the awkward angle. Grabbing an extra pillow, Link stuffed it between his knees to lessen the pulling feeling on his hips and wriggled until he found a semi-comfortable position for himself.

“I could really, really use one of your dreams tonight Sarah, Samantha. Please be listening.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Link’s eyes opened quickly despite the light that flooded into the room. How long had he been asleep? He shifted up onto his elbow and realized he was no longer on a bed. Instead, he was on an old, floral patterned couch. Above his head hung a poster of Lionel Richie lounging on a polished gym floor.

“Is this my dorm room?”

Link stumbled up and looked around. It was as if he’d been transported through time back to the place he and Rhett had called home in their college years. The small, shoddily made beds. The twin desks. The photos covering the walls. Everything was there in more vivid detail than he should have been able to remember. He was even sporting his traditional college look: jeans and no shirt.

“Knock knock.”

A woman’s voice chimed from the doorway. Link spun around to see Wonder Woman and Batgirl, their likenesses anyway, waving to him from outside the room. It seemed like they were waiting to be invited in.

“Um, hi…” Link stared at the unnaturally beautiful women. There was something familiar about them but he wasn’t sure what it could be. They didn’t think they were his classmates. Maybe they were RA’s? But these were the mens dorms. Maybe they were lost.

“Can I help you?” Link asked. The women exchanged glances.

“Most likely,” said the one who looked like Wonder Woman. “Can we come in?”

“I guess. I’m sorry, what are your names?” Link asked. He scratched his head, fingers raking through the distantly familiar feeling of dry, overly bleached hair.

“You can call me Diana,” said the Wonder Woman looking one. “And she is Barbara.”

“Just like the super heroes, huh?” Link laughed and then paused. “Wait, you’re not actually super heroes, are you?”

“Would you like us to be?” asked Diana.

“No!” Link replied louder than he’d meant to. “Please, let me live in ignorance of any mutants or super villains or gods lurking around in the halls.”

“You’re loss,” Diana winked. She pointed to a polaroid camera resting on one of the desks. “You have a photo project, right? You photograph everyone who comes to your dorm on that couch? We want in.”

Link blinked and looked at the camera. That was right. It had started with him and Rhett trying to pose like Lionel Richie in the poster and ended up turning into a Richie-imposter art project. A full wall of the room was covered in photos of friends and strangers posing on the couch under the poster trying to imitate Lionel’s way-too-cool lounge.

“You want to pose on my couch?” Link asked, still trying to understand the distant familiarity. They must be classmates after all. They weren’t engineering students, though. Maybe they were in his calculus class.

“Yeah. It looks like fun,” Diana smiled. “Barbara, why don’t you go first?”

The red head stepped forward and climbed up onto the couch, settling on her knees and twisting up to look at the poster. She stayed for a long moment like that, the arch in her back accentuating her perfectly curved form as she studied Lionel’s pose. Her jeans stretched tightly against her skin, giving Link a very intimate idea of what hid underneath. He swallowed and shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other.

“Are you going to pose or what?” he asked. Barbara turned and smiled at him apologetically, finally lying on her side and matching the poster perfectly.

“That’s really great, actually,” Link exclaimed after clicking the shutter. A grey square slid out the bottom of the camera and he took it between his fingers, moving it gingerly to the desk.

“Aren’t you going to shake it so the picture shows up?” Barbara asked.

“You aren’t actually supposed to shake ‘em,” Link replied. “If you move them too fast, it damages the image. It can make the film separate prematurely.”

“I’ve always shaken mine,” Barbara protested, reaching for the photo. Link caught her wrist. “A little shaking won’t hurt it, but if you jostle it around too much it gets all blobby and blurry in places. You have to let it develop in its own time.”

“Alright,” Barbara shrugged. “You’re the expert. Diana, you ready?”

“Of course!” Diana was already on the couch posing with the same expertise as her friend. Link snapped a photo and set it beside the other on the desk. Diana walked over to look and frowned.

“Hmmm, I don’t like it,” she said, leaning against Link’s back and placing her arms around his shoulders. “Let’s take another one.”

“It’s not even developed,” Link protested and craned to look at the woman hanging off of him. Her face was very close to his. He could smell her perfume.

“I just know it won’t be good. Let’s try again. Maybe something different.” Diana idly ran her finger along the waistband of Link’s jeans as she mused. Link swallowed heavily.

“Um, what are you doing?” he asked, watching her hand move and shivering at the feeling of her fingers tickling his bare skin.

“I’m sorry,” she said, backing up quickly. “I didn’t mean to cross a line.”

“Oh, you didn’t cross a line,” Link assured her. “I was just, erm, curious.”

“I was too forward,” Diana insisted, gently taking the camera from Link. “Let me make it up to you. I’ll take a photo of you, now.”

“I already have one of me,” Link said, pointing to a blank spot on the wall. Diana raised an eyebrow and Link squinted as if he was seeing things wrong. There was the picture of Rhett. Where was the one of him?

“It looks like you don’t have one after all,” Diana said. “So I’ll take it.”

By the time she finished her sentence, Link was on the couch. He didn’t remember moving there.

“Let’s do something new, though,” said Diana. Suddenly, she was on the couch as well, sitting so Link’s head was resting on her lap. Barbara now held the camera on the other side of the room. Link watched silently as Diana traced an unseen image on his chest with her fingertips. “Matching outfits are in now, right? Let’s start with that.”

Link blinked and discovered that his clothing had not changed at all. Diana had apparently chosen to match him. Not that it was a terribly difficult look to match. All he had on was jeans. He wasn’t even wearing socks. Link looked up at Diana’s soft, glowing skin and suddenly felt very hot.

“Is this ok?” Diana asked.

“This is very very ok,” Link replied, his voice cracking.

“Do you want her to join?” Diana made a glance over at Barbara who had also changed her attire to fit the group theme. Link squirmed a bit.

“Is it mean if I say no?” he whispered. “I mean, I’m kind of into you right now is all.”

“You get to call all the shots here, my darling Link. No one will give you more or less than what you desire.”

“Maybe…maybe she can take our picture before she goes?”

“Certainly.”

Link heard the click and whir of the camera as it deposited a third square of film. Diana rose and walked to Barbara, relieving her of the photo and the camera. Holding both objects in one hand, she used the other to pull Barbara close and kissed her deeply.

“Give us a moment, baby?” she asked.

“Absoluely,” Barbara grinned and waved to Link who remained sitting dumbfounded on the couch. “See you in calculus, Link.”

Barbara had only just disappeared beyond the doorway before Diana was on top of him, around him, beside him. Her presence enveloped him completely. For the first time in his life he felt small and safe in the arms of a woman. He allowed himself to become lost in her warmth.

“This picture is special,” Diana said, her breath whispering across Link’s cheek. She held the photo of the two of him delicately between her fingers. “No one is going to shake this. In this room, in this moment, the picture will develop at its own pace. No blurring or breaking. Just color.”

“That sounds perfect,” Link smiled. There was something within her words that made his whole body feel lighter. Then, all at once, her mouth was against his.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Link rolled in bed and stretched his arm out, reaching for some unknown target. Instead of grasping the thing that wasn’t there, he bumped against Christy’s sleeping form. She moaned quietly but didn’t wake. Link could just make out the rising and falling of her chest in the moonlight that broke through the thin curtains. He was surprised to see her next to him. Who had he expected to be there?

Link’s heart was beating wildly. He crawled out of bed and made his way to the bathroom, the air seeming especially cold. Turning on the sink, he bent low and drank from it like a water fountain before returning to bed. He gave Christy one last, confused look before closing his eyes and falling back asleep.


End file.
